{"id":312,"date":"2014-03-05T23:21:09","date_gmt":"2014-03-06T07:21:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/?p=312"},"modified":"2014-03-05T23:21:09","modified_gmt":"2014-03-06T07:21:09","slug":"learning-to-take-criticism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/?p=312","title":{"rendered":"Learning to Take Criticism"},"content":{"rendered":"

March Word Count: 4200 (800 short of daily goal)<\/p>\n

I’ve been meaning to post something about this since November. \u00a0I’ve been thinking about it a lot the last couple of weeks, and some recent conversations have brought it to the forefront of my mind.<\/p>\n

I need to get better at taking criticism. \u00a0This mostly applies to writing, but it feeds into other parts of my life, too.<\/p>\n

My greatest problem is how much I associate my self-worth with my work. \u00a0I pour myself into it. \u00a0This means that I’m passionate about it, and I really give it my all. \u00a0It also means that when I put my work in front of someone else, I’m exposed and vulnerable.<\/p>\n

At ConVolution, I was exceptionally nervous. \u00a0I felt a little bit of nausea before the workshop met up, and I was a gibbering mess on the inside, when it got to my turn. \u00a0As each person spoke, I listened as best I could, while at the same time I was thinking, “Don’t be that guy… don’t be that guy…” When it was time for me to ask questions for clarification, I couldn’t really say much. \u00a0I said that I agreed with everything that was said, and I thanked everyone for the feedback. \u00a0I might have asked a question, but I don’t remember. \u00a0I was still trying to keep myself together.<\/p>\n

That was probably the best I’ve done, and it was harrowing. \u00a0Since then, I’ve relaxed a little bit, but that hasn’t necessarily been good.<\/p>\n

The time before last when the Auspicious NorCal Writer’s group met up, we reviewed a couple of chapters of my Mel Walker story, and I did not handle it well. \u00a0I had a very bad reaction to it, and I wound up creating some drama in the group.<\/p>\n

The last time we met, my work received a very mild review. \u00a0That would be okay, except that my story was terrible. \u00a0It had pacing problems. \u00a0It had plot problems. \u00a0It was gimmicky.<\/p>\n

I need to know when my stories don’t work, but at the same time, I need to not take the criticism so hard that my ego and self-confidence take a tumble.<\/p>\n

Part of what’s keeping me going is a belief that I am a good writer. \u00a0It’s tenuous, though, because I don’t have any real successes that I can hang my hat on.<\/p>\n

The only way I’m going to get better at receiving critiques is through additional trial and error. \u00a0 It’s like writing itself. \u00a0If you want to improve, you have to do it, and not just talk about it. \u00a0Hopefully I haven’t broken things beyond repair with the Auspicious group.<\/p>\n

To make the most the critiques, I think I need to provide some guidance. \u00a0When I was first asked what sort of critiques I wanted, I said, “Whatever is in your heart.” That was my answer, because I didn’t know what I wanted. \u00a0I have a slightly better set of guidelines, now.<\/p>\n