{"id":439,"date":"2014-10-14T18:24:32","date_gmt":"2014-10-15T01:24:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/?p=439"},"modified":"2023-10-05T19:43:43","modified_gmt":"2023-10-06T02:43:43","slug":"fears-of-the-writer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/?p=439","title":{"rendered":"Fears of the Writer"},"content":{"rendered":"

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” — Frank Herbert,\u00a0Dune<\/em><\/p>\n

That’s easier said than done. \u00a0Let’s crack open some of\u00a0these little-deaths, and see what’s squirming inside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’m afraid I will fail.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is the broadest, most insidious fear. \u00a0We all face it. \u00a0It can debilitate us in nearly any endeavor.<\/p>\n

How does one fail as a writer? \u00a0I think there are lots of steps along the way.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Get an idea for a story, but never start.<\/li>\n
  2. Start the story, but never finished the first draft.<\/li>\n
  3. Finish the first draft, but never edit it.<\/li>\n
  4. Edit it, but never show it to anyone.<\/li>\n
  5. Show it to people, but never submit it for publication.<\/li>\n
  6. Receive rejection letters, but never get over them.<\/li>\n
  7. Get the story published, but no one ever reads it.<\/li>\n
  8. Finish the first story, and never start the next.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    All but one of those points of failure are within the writer’s control. \u00a0That’s comforting.<\/p>\n

    Really, the only way to fail is to give up. \u00a0Surrender is far worse than rejection.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    I’m afraid that I will succeed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    This one might sound a little strange, but I do worry over what can happen if I manage to get a book out and in front of readers. \u00a0My life will change.<\/p>\n

    For starters, I might feel emboldened to quit my day job and focus on writing. \u00a0That would make me very happy… unless I turn out to be a one-hit wonder.<\/p>\n

    What do you do if your dream comes true? \u00a0Will I still be motivated? \u00a0Will I continue working as hard as I’m working now? \u00a0What if I discover that I’m miserable writing full time?<\/p>\n

    It’s basic, raw, uncertainty. \u00a0I’ve faced this tentacled monster before at different stages in my life. \u00a0The good news, at least for me, is that this kind of worry doesn’t impede me anymore. \u00a0If I succeed, but the success is short lived? \u00a0Then I’ll enjoy what I can, and move on to the next thing.<\/p>\n

    Success is often whatever you define it to be. \u00a0So define it as a nice place to be, then go live there.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    I’m afraid that I’m not a real writer.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I’ve talked about this kind of fear before, and I’ve pointed at a quote from Neil Gaimon<\/a>\u00a0to support it.<\/p>\n

    It’s not just a lack of confidence. \u00a0Confidence can play a part, but there’s more. \u00a0Perhaps if I define what a “real writer,” it will make more sense.<\/p>\n

    A real writer…<\/p>\n