{"id":801,"date":"2016-04-13T20:18:07","date_gmt":"2016-04-14T03:18:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/?p=801"},"modified":"2016-04-13T20:18:07","modified_gmt":"2016-04-14T03:18:07","slug":"we-need-to-handle-rape-better","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/?p=801","title":{"rendered":"We Need to Handle Rape Better"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently read that Toby Turner, YouTube celebrity, has been accused of rape on Tumblr. \u00a0The story<\/a>\u00a0showed up in my news and YouTube feeds. \u00a0It is a Bill Cosby story all over again.<\/p>\n

When the Bill Cosby story hit the news, I didn’t want to believe it<\/a>. \u00a0I tried to keep an open mind, but it was difficult. \u00a0I grew up on Cosby. \u00a0I also didn’t care for the Trial by Social Media that surrounded that whole situation.<\/p>\n

So here it is again, this time with\u00a0Toby Turner as the accused. \u00a0He’s a lesser known celebrity, but this is the\u00a0same sort of trial outside the courts. \u00a0No lawyers. \u00a0No due process. \u00a0Just the story of two individuals, and people divided over which one to believe.<\/p>\n

We need to do better than this, both for the victims of rape, and for those that stand accused.<\/p>\n

First, we need to protect the victims. \u00a0We need to make them feel safe and secure. \u00a0We need to believe someone when they say they have been raped, and give them whatever support and treatment they deserve. \u00a0If it is counselling, or privacy, or medical treatment, or all of the above, we need to give them what they need. \u00a0No second guessing. \u00a0No victim should ever be subjected to further shame or humiliation after such a difficult trauma.<\/p>\n

We need to make sure that rape victims can go to the police. \u00a0This means changing our culture. \u00a0A victim should not have to fear repercussions for\u00a0reporting the crime. \u00a0A victim should not have to fear further embarrassment. \u00a0The seriousness of what they’ve been through should never be dismissed. \u00a0We should be treating victims of all crimes with compassion, but rape victims especially, so that they can report the crime and begin the legal process for bringing the rapist to justice.<\/p>\n

If a rape victim chooses to go to social media instead of the police, we need to continue to believe them, and give them the support that they need. \u00a0It’s difficult enough admitting to something like that. \u00a0We don’t need to make it more difficult by dismissing their pain. \u00a0We need to show rape victims compassion, without judgement. \u00a0It is not their fault. \u00a0They haven’t lost their honor, or their innocence. \u00a0They are the same person they were before. \u00a0They’ve been made to suffer something no one should suffer, and they deserve to be treated with respect, humanity, and love.<\/p>\n

However, if a rape victim chooses to go to social media and not the police, we also need to be careful how we deal with the one that is accused.<\/p>\n

This is the difficult part. \u00a0I just said that we need to believe the victim, and give them what they need. \u00a0Does that mean that we need to believe them when they’re accusing someone publicly, and they are seeking justice through social media?<\/p>\n

No. \u00a0Social media is not a court of law. \u00a0Social and news media is not a place of evidence or due process. \u00a0Social and news media is not the place where we should mete out justice.<\/p>\n

When we crucify people like Bill Cosby and Toby Turner in the press or on social media, we create a culture of divisiveness and hearsay. \u00a0We create situations where people siding with the accused attack the accuser. \u00a0I have no doubt that people supporting Toby Turner are attacking his accuser right now. \u00a0She does not deserve that.<\/p>\n

When someone accuses someone of rape on social media, we need to focus our attention on the accuser and give them help and support, rather than focus on the accused and destroy them. \u00a0No harm will come to anyone by supporting the accuser. \u00a0If the accuser is lying, they’ll get some attention they may not deserve, but it won’t hurt anyone. \u00a0On the other hand, if the accuser is lying and you destroy the career of the accused, then you’ve perpetrated a gross\u00a0injustice against someone innocent. \u00a0The kind of damage that is irreparable.<\/p>\n

One other point before I close this uncomfortable post… when we write blog posts or news articles passing on the story of the accusation, it is vital that we be accurate and fair. \u00a0Cherry-picking details in order to make the story bigger should be criminal. \u00a0For example, the article from PerezHilton.com that I linked at the top mentions Jaclyn Glenn coming forward and corroborating April Turner’s story. \u00a0It is a little misleading. \u00a0Jaclyn Glenn<\/a>\u00a0did mention that Toby pressured her into the things, but she also made it clear that she didn’t think Toby was capable of rape.<\/p>\n

This whole story with Toby Turner is troubling. \u00a0If he did it, then he deserves to be punished. \u00a0Whether he did it or not, his career is probably\u00a0finished. \u00a0That is a real shame if he is innocent. \u00a0And realistically, there isn’t anything he can do about it.<\/p>\n

We can do better than this. \u00a0It starts with making it easier\u00a0for victims to seek justice via the proper route: the police. \u00a0The alternative is anarchy, and creating a culture that is toxic for both the victim and the accused.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently read that Toby Turner, YouTube celebrity, has been accused of rape on Tumblr. \u00a0The story\u00a0showed up in my news and YouTube feeds. \u00a0It is a Bill Cosby story all over again. When the Bill Cosby story hit the news, I didn’t want to believe it. \u00a0I tried to keep an open mind, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=801"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":802,"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/801\/revisions\/802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/briancebuhl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}