While preparing my write-up tonight, I looked back to see how much I have talked about Valheim before. To my surprise, I wrote an entire post about it 5 years ago, to the day.

The old post does a pretty good job of describing the game. In 2021, it was in early access and progress only went up to the plains. Now, as of just a few weeks ago, the game is fully released, with many more zones added since then, additional mechanics, and an actual ending.

Valheim: A Brief Summary

As I said 5 years ago, Valheim is an open world, sandbox adventure game set in a Norse-Viking, low-polygon world. It can be played solo or with friends. It supports PVP, though I don’t know how many people are interested in that kind of gameplay in this world. It has progression that is based on the resources you’re able to acquire, and soft gates bound to different bosses in different biomes, which get progressively more difficult.

I’m writing this from a place of ignorance: I haven’t been to the newest zone yet, and the game has acquired secrets upon release that I have yet to discover.

The biome progression is this: Meadows, Black Forest, Swamps, Mountains, Plains, Mistlands, Ashlands, and finally, The Deep North. I haven’t been to the deep north yet. There is also the Ocean biome, but there are no bosses there, and that biome doesn’t gate progression.

Things that have changed

Since the post last year, they added magic with the Mistlands. They added siege weapons with Ashlands. They’ve added some other mechanics with The Deep North, but I haven’t discovered those yet, and I’m not looking for spoilers.

With each new biome added came a new boss. Defeating a boss bestows a resource necessary for moving on to the next zone. For example, once you defeat the Queen from Mistlands, you get the material necessary to build a very large boat, capable of surviving the boiling waters that surround the Ashlands. There are some clever tricks a Viking can perform to get there without the ship, but those ways generally invite madness and mayhem.

More foods have been added, and recipes, and weapons. They’ve expanded building options, and building materials, and the way pieces can snap together. They’ve added a few quality of life improvements.

Unfiltered Thoughts

While I’m still talking about the game from the perspective of what it is, and before I get more into how I feel about it, I want to mention that this is another game in which the modding community does a lot of heavy lifting. Project Zomboid has more mods, but there are plenty of Valheim mods out there, some of which change the game in truly impressive ways. Recently on Reddit, I saw someone showcasing a mod that added trains to the game. It was pretty wild.

There are a handful of mods I like to run with Valheim, just for quality of life improvements. For example, there’s a mod which allows crafting from nearby containers, which is nice. There is a mod for automatically storing items in containers, as long as the container already has items of that type. Valheim can suck up a lot of time just managing collected resources, so some of these mods allow for more time playing the game, rather than managing it.

How do I feel about this game, now that I’ve described it so thoroughly? This game that I’ve played off and on for over 5 years?

I love it, but it can be extremely frustrating.

This game is capable of being soothing. Perhaps meditative. It can be inspiring, action-packed, and thrilling.

But sometimes, when you’re getting ready to hop in a boat and go exploring, the fog will roll in and make it very difficult to see anything more than 20 feet away.

There’s something of a theme that happens with all the biomes after the plains. The post I wrote 5 years ago precedes these biomes, so I was much more undeniably bullish about the game. When they added the Mistlands, though, they almost lost me. It’s a land that is — you guessed it — full of mist. It’s very difficult to see in it. You can make a belt which releases a little fairy that pushes the mists back a little, but it’s not nearly enough.

The Mistlands are also full of bullshit bug monsters. Some float along, spitting fireballs from the air. Some appear next to you, like a carapaced troll, shaking the ground and doing devastating damage.

Oh, and the Mistlands are extremely hilly. Extremely vertical terrain, which the combat system did not handle well.

It’s like the developers took the two main weaknesses of the game and made a zone all about them. I might have quit playing for a while, at that point.

Eventually, I went back with my friends and played through it, and it does get easier with better gear. But even still, it leaned way too far into the things the game was not good at. They’ve since made improvements to combat with creatures that are at different heights than you, but it’s not perfect.

When I finally made my peace with the Mistlands, the devs added the Ashlands, and I quit again.

I had a hard time explaining why I hated Ashlands for a while. It didn’t suffer visibility issues the way Mistlands does. The air is clear. It’s not particularly vertical. Fights are usually on the same plane. The problem with the Ashlands is that the fighting never stops. Just a continuous, unrelenting torrent of monsters, which you can’t just ignore.

At the time, trying to talk about it on Reddit wasn’t productive. A lot of people took the complaints as an excuse to say, “Git good scrub.” My problem wasn’t player skill. My problem was that I wasn’t getting fed what I loved about the game before. I want to explore. I want to build. I want to collect new resources so I can make cool things. You can’t really do any of that other stuff when you’re constantly fighting just to hold your position.

The Ashlands were eventually toned down, multiple times, and my friends and I eventually went back and made real progress. We ran out of steam before we fought the boss in that zone. I never tried it solo.

Concluding thoughts

When the game went into full release, Mike was ready to jump back in with the group, and I dragged my feet. All these thoughts and memories came up. Each of the times I started playing, I had a great time and loved it, until I didn’t. Then it was heartbreak, or rage quit, or exhaustion.

Respecting his birthday last week, we jumped in, and we had a good time. We made great progress, and in a few minutes, I’m sure we’ll jump back in and keep going.

Wish me luck. If you have thoughts or feelings about this game, let me know.

I’m going to split this into two categories:

1. Selling in person
2. Everything else

The “Everything else” will probably be the shorter section. It will include a little bit of info on querying, writing the summary that goes on the book, and whatever else I can think of.

I have to write this one fast tonight, folks, because I’m still heads down with a bunch of work stuff, and I don’t want to stay up until 2AM like I did last night.

Selling in person

When I’m selling person, I’m almost always at a table with more books than just the ones I wrote. I’m working the publisher’s table, and my publisher has put a substantial number of titles.

There is always the temptation to only sell my books, but that’s a trap and a mistake. For starters, my stories are not for everyone. They’re for a lot of people, but the person standing in front of me may be looking for SciFi, or epic fantasy, or poetry, or anything but urban fantasy. Some people hate urban fantasy. Trying to sell my book to that person is going to just make them frustrated, and then they’ll leave with nothing.

Then there is the matter of optics. When you come across an author at a table that is only selling their book, when they are surrounded by so many other titles, it can look narcissistic.

I think this is building to a rule. Let’s forge it.

The first rule of selling in person is making it about the customer, not you.

So, ask them what they like. Ask them if they’re looking for something in particular. Ask them what their favorite book is, and hope you know it and can match it something on the table.

Resist the urge to bend your story to fit what they’re asking for. Again, this is about getting the customer a book they’ll love. If they get something they enjoy, they are more likely to look for other books from the author or publisher. You want the publisher to stay in business, because that means the publisher can publish more of your books and continue sending you checks and statements. Selling books to a reader that makes them happy, even if it’s not your book, is good for the publisher and indirectly, you.

I have a question I’ve recently started using which flips the script and helps get customers more engaged with the conversation. I save this for the people that are struggling to describe what they like.

“If I were to visit you, and you were to recommend me a book from your library, which book would it be?”

It really is still the same question as “What is your favorite book?” but it reframes it so that they are in the position of giving me a book, rather than me trying to sell them one on the table. That reframing can be amazing, and often opens up into more interesting conversations about books in general.

One might think that the “win condition” of successfully running a table at a convention is selling the most of your book. That is a way of defining it, and my books often are the one with the most sales at the end of the convention, but that’s not what I’m setting out to do.

My “win condition” is to have the most interesting conversation with readers and writers at the table. It is a truly special day when I can talk to a writer just starting, and give them whatever it is they need to move on to the next step.

That is the convention for me, often. I’m not always on panels, and I don’t attend panels as often as I used to. Most of my time is at the table in the dealer’s room, so meeting people, talking to them about books and writing and all of the topics that fall in between, that’s my absolute jam.

This is also building into something. Not quite a rule. Maybe more of a guideline.

It’s easier to sell to people that are a fan of your work, or people in which you have a relationship. So build a relationship with the customer.

When I talk with people that come to the table, I listen as much as I can. I usually have to ask questions to prime the pump, but once they start talking, I listen and ask good follow-up questions that are pertinent to what I perceive as their interests.

I want to say something like, “You can’t force a sale,” but I don’t think that’s entirely true. It’s more like fishing, sometimes. I don’t always call out to people just walking by the table, but some events, it’s the only way to draw interest. When I call out, it’s often just a greeting. When we were at the chocolate festival in Paradise earlier this year, I went so far as to ask, “Can I tell you about this book?”

Narrowing the choice to a single book and targeting it can sometimes make the table less intimidating, and encourages the person to approach and listen to my pitch. And I have my pitch ready to go, the salient points memorized.

For all three of my books, I have elevator pitches memorized, but I try not to say them as if they’re memorized. Keep it as natural as possible, change up some of the wording from time to time, but get across the finish line. When it’s a good pitch, it can often land a sale on its own.

It’s not as easy to have elevator pitches for other people’s books, but it’s possible to have a list of interesting details about the books at hand. Things like:

“It’s ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ meets ‘Pacfic Rim.'”

“It’s about Frankenstein’s Monster, picking up right where Mary Shelley’s story ends, but it’s not Mary Shelley’s version. It’s the classic movie monster, with the flat head and the bolts in his neck, and he’s playing the part of Sherlock while Igor plays the part of Watson.”

“It’s a complete series, 2nd world SciFi, in which charlatans pretending at magic stage a coup to take over the kingdom and build up this ‘chosen one’ to take the throne, but it doesn’t go very well. Think ‘Trump term 1’ for book 1, and ‘Trump term 2’ for book 2.“

“It’s Tombstone meets Van Helsing, in a world where silver is a corruptive element, and our protagonist, infected with silver, is looking for the one gun that can put down the machine-monster that caused him to be infected in the first place.”

Unintentionally, I don’t think any of these pitches are as good as the ones I have for the books I wrote. I think that’s always going to be the case. I think the ones I can pitch the strongest are the ones I’ve read, but I haven’t read everything that’s on the table. I’m working on it, but there’s only so much time in the day.

Selling in person has become easy, for me. I don’t land every sale, but I have a good time, and I think most of the people I talk to that come by the table have a good time, too.

Selling books — Everything Else

Agents think in terms of comp titles, and they want their authors to be thinking about relevant comp titles, too, because comp titles are used for positioning. The advance is based on predictions of how well the book will sell, and those predictions are almost entirely based on comp titles.

If someone tells you that comp titles aren’t important, they may not know how traditional publishing works.

When writing your query, remember that you’re trying to tell a story about your story. And, stories should invoke an emotional response, even when it’s a story about your story. Keep that in mind, and also remember that you don’t have to include every detail. You’re going to have to leave out subplots, characters, settings… do whatever it takes to make your story about your story interesting and pertinent to the larger story. This is not always easy, but it also doesn’t have to be as hard as I usually make it out to be.

Another way to think of the query is that this is a look through the keyhole. Such a view doesn’t show everything. Make sure that the view is somewhere in the story that is interesting, and that will make the person peering through the keyhole with you want to open the door.

There are places where the “In a world” voice is appropriate, both in query writing and writing the book summary that will go on the book jacket. It will feel cheesy. Embrace the cheese. Then edit it until it doesn’t feel cheesy.

Find things that are interesting in your story and bring them to the front of the summary, but do it without spoilers and without jeopardizing the experience of reading the story. Are there robot dogs in your story? Find a way to get them on the book jacket, but only if it doesn’t give things away and ruin the reader’s day.

My original plan was to talk about lots of different media I’m consuming lately. Some of it is on YouTube, on Twitch, and Dropout. Those are all still fun distractions, but over the weekend, I put in the first episode of Lanterns and didn’t stop until I’d gone through the entire series. For the last couple of days, that’s where all of my thoughts have been. So let’s write some of them down.

Short, non-spoiler review

The casting is perfect. The story is great. It looks really good. This is a very good series set in the DCU, and I hope we get more. There are definitely some surprises, most of which land. I can easily recommend people watch this. Maybe not in one giant sitting like I did, though.

Longer review, with spoilers

Once again, if you don’t want any of this series to be spoiled, now is your time to close this tab, or delete this email, or exit however you exit seeing this post. No more warnings after this point, and I honestly think this is best viewed without spoilers.

Before I get into the details of the show, I’ll offer my “credentials,” as it were. I’ve enjoyed stories from the comics since the late 80s. My favorite Green Lantern is actually Kyle Rayner. I can name all of the emotional spectrum cores, I can spell Larfleeze correctly on the first try, and I know tons of interesting trivia about Hal Jordan, John Stewart, and Guy Gardner. I went into this series rich with background information, so the two Mogo jokes in the show landed perfectly with me.

The show is told out of chronological order, and it divides its focus between an older Hal Jordan that is bitter but still doing heroic work, and John Stewart, who has been training to live without fear his entire life so that he can be Earth’s next Green Lantern. Most of the story takes place in 2016, with the next sizable portion of the story occurring in 2026.

It’s grounded, gritty, and our main characters are given plenty of opportunities to be clever and solve mysteries. The first episode establishes what the season is about: John is supposed to be getting trained by Hal to be his replacement, but Hal doesn’t want to replaced, and gives John a hard time. They’re pulled in to investigate some alien murders in a small town, Rushville, Nebraska. This storyline is set in 2016. By the end of the first episode, we jump to 2026, where John drives back into Rushville, meets up with the sheriff, and we see Hal Jordan’s dead body sitting on bleachers, snow collecting on him, and he has no ring.

The first episode is setting up some promises, and for the most part, keeps them. The missing ring is a bit of a misdirect, but I’ll forgive them that one sin.

As they dig further, they find that there is a Manhunter hiding somewhere in the town, influencing the townsfolk, and must be stopped.

This is where I must pause and reveal a hole in my knowledge. When they said “Manhunter,” I was thinking of Martian Manhunter. They described the Manhunters as a race that was supposed to be extinct, which I think lines up with Martian Manhunter’s background. Later, when they talked about The Guardians being responsible for creating the Manhunters, I looked them up on the Internet and found — whoops! — Manhunters have been in the comics before, they’re machines, and were supposed to be unfeeling space cops. When their programming became corrupted, The Guardians wiped them out and turned to create the Green Lantern Corps to replace them.

The show isn’t afraid to take its time with the story telling. It gives us an entire episode where we get to learn about more about John Stewart’s upbringing. The night that the ring chose Hal Jordan, it tried to choose John Stewart’s father first. When the ring came into his room, picked him up, and asked, “Are you afraid?” John’s father truthfully said “Yes!” and then the ring moved on.

The close encounter nearly ruined John’s father’s life, and The Guardians tried to make amends by offering John’s mother a huge diamond. Ultimately, they talked about how John Stewart is made of stern stuff and could be the next Lantern, so John’s parents began conditioning John to suppress his fear. They shot apples off his head, made him walk alone through scary neighborhoods… all sorts of things which could be described as abuse.

Not to say that the ends justify the means, but it worked. John grew up, joined the marines, became a sniper, demonstrated incredible willpower, a lack of fear, and tried to serve his country to the best of his ability. His military career ended when Hal swooped in and nabbed someone John was supposed to snipe.

I really liked John Stewart in this show. Aaron Pierre played him perfectly. I’m looking forward to seeing more of him.

The show also dedicated an episode to Hal Jordan, and what makes him tick. He was a stubborn kid that loved his Dad, and his Dad loved him back. We get a scene where Hal’s Dad takes Hal’s side and gets into a fistfight with Hal’s baseball coach. The next scene, they’re sitting next to a runway, watching planes fly by. That’s when Hal’s Dad tells him how his grandfather gave him a key before going off to war. He explained that he was as good a fighter pilot as they come, but there’s always the possibility that there’s someone out there that’s a little bit better, or circumstances that might get out of control. The key was to a “fail safe,” and as Hal’s Dad finished the explanation, he reached into his shirt and handed Hal a key.

Next scene, Hal is standing at his Dad’s funeral.

The episode is titled “The Jordan Boy’s Legacy,” and we learn what it is. Hal’s grandfather died by suicide, and Hal’s Dad learned about it from a note in the safe. Hal’s Dad also died by suicide, and again, Hal found out from a note inside the safe his Dad left him. Hal doesn’t feel fear because of conditioning. It’s because he’s broken. And alone.

I really liked Hal Jordan in this show, too. Kyle Chandler brought a lot to the role, and made him interesting. It was a different Hal Jordan than what I remember in other media, and that’s okay. I also hope to see more of Kyle Chandler’s Hal Jordan as the series goes on, but given that he’s dead at the end of the first season, that might be challenging.

That’s one of the surprises this show gives us that may or may not land. When people say “Green Lantern,” most people will probably think of Hal Jordan. If you grew up on the cartoons, you might say John Stewart, but Hal has been the most consistent front man for the series. It’s sort of like saying “Ghost Rider” and people think “Johnny Blaze,” even though my favorite Ghost Rider is Danny Ketch, and the most recent Ghost Rider is Robbie Reyes.

Some people probably wanted more constructs, but that’s not really the kind of story they were telling. There were constructs, and they were done well. Like I said before, the show looks great. I really don’t have any problem with how much super stuff we got in our super hero show.

I enjoyed Nathan Fillion’s appearance as Guy Gardner in this show. He’s been enjoyable in all of his appearances so far. Even though Guy didn’t have a bunch to do in this show, I think his character was given a little bit more depth.

Closing thoughts

I hope to see more of this. I really enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to what they do with Sinestro, played by Ulrich Thomsen. He didn’t have a ton to do in his season, but what they did give of him was perfect.

There are plenty of things I didn’t talk about, such as Hal’s hologram, Hal’s weird plant, and the sheriff’s son, Noah.

What do you think? Did you watch it, and do you have thoughts on the show? Let me know.

Trans rights are human rights.

About 1% of the population identifies as trans.

More than 40% of trans people have attempted suicide.

Around 80% of trans people have sought medical health treatment from licensed professionals, compared to only around 45% of cis people.

I’m making this list to paint a clear picture, which is that around 1% of our population are vulnerable, often in crisis, and they deserve our compassion.

Why am I writing this?

I’m cis gender, male, heterosexual. This isn’t about me, and it’s not about any specific person I’ve known, though I have been friends with quite a few trans folks. I’m not claiming to be an ally, or “virtue signaling,” or any of the other B.S. we throw up to keep people from being kind and doing the right thing.

We are in another election cycle, and the last one had the Republicans airing anti-trans propaganda all over the place. I remember watching one of the screens in a Mel’s Diner tuned to ESPN2, flabbergasted at the naked hate on display.

Trans rights are human rights, and I’ve already seen some hints at scapegoating trans people again, which sucks. So, with whatever voice I have, I’m going to say again that we should be looking out for trans people, not demonizing them.

J. K. F’ing Rowling

Rowling made a ton of money, and donated bunches to charity. I’m not going to ignore her generosity and her philanthropy. She acquired wealth and did some real good with it.

However, Rowling identifies as a TERF, and has also used some of her considerable wealth to support politicians and policies that are anti-trans.

TERF stands for “trans-exclusionary radical feminist.” TERFs are bad. TERFs are attacking people that are already vulnerable.

Rowling uses her wealth and her voice to hurt some of the people that are in the most danger, as I described at the beginning.

Harry Potter and the Author of Hate

There is no ethical way to consume Harry Potter media at this point. Some of the money goes back to Rowling, and Rowling uses that money to fuel hate. That sucks.

Since Rowling revealed who she is, and repeatedly doubled-down on her messages of hate, people have looked at the Harry Potter franchise critically, and found reasons to hate on the series. Some of these criticisms are fair, but a lot of it feels like revisionist history, to me.

The Harry Potter series captured the imaginations of an entire generation and got them reading again. There are good things about the series. Rowling did some clever things that I’ve learned from, such as hiding things in plain sight.

At the same time, Rowling represents other cultures and races in Harry Potter by leaning into cheap stereotypes.

The franchise is undeniably a cultural touchstone, and Rowling made an indelible mark on the world with her story about The Chosen One and his fantastic wizarding school. Unfortunately, the franchise is now poisoned, and should probably not be read or enjoyed by anyone.

Other TERFs to be away of

There’s Macy Gray.

Bette Midler, unfortunately. She doesn’t seem to understand the effects of her words.

Dave Chapelle is always looking for different ways to be super problematic.

Rob Schneider, Carlos Santana, Alice Cooper, Kevin Hart, and John Cleese, among others.

Final thoughts

It should be pretty easy to avoid saying stupid shit and hurting people. Before opening your mouth, ask yourself, “Is there an intersectionality of people that may be unfairly targeted or hurt because of my words?” If the answer is yes, shut up and move on.

Give trans people the same courtesy you would want for yourself and your children. Let them seek their bliss, and be the best version of themselves they can be. Their experience with gender and transitioning and body dysmorphia has nothing to do with you, and you may not be able to relate or imagine what it’s like for them. That’s okay. Let them be themselves. Your life will not be harmed by them or their gender expression.

Tonight is the first of three unscheduled topics. I can write about anything I want to write about. So what will it be?

Perhaps a bit of everything. Tonight, I’ll talk about the things I’m happy with, the things that are bothering me, and what I’m going to do about any of it.

I’m angry about Trump’s latest deal with Russia

If you haven’t heard, Trump made a deal with Putin in order to acquire nearly 5 million tons of diesel fuel. It seems this started nearly a month ago, around the same time that Trump was signing the Lindsey Graham package of sanctions against Russia. With this deal, Russia gets money from the US, we get diesel, which is projected to lower the cost of diesel a few cents, and this is terrible for several reasons.

Russia invaded Ukraine. Russia was the aggressor, violated international law, and started a fight with a people that Putin thought he could intimidate or crush. But Ukraine fought back, and were more fierce than anyone expected. Putin thought the war would be over in a matter of weeks. Three and a half years later, Ukraine has done extremely well, winning more than they’ve been losing.

Trump’s deal fucks over Ukraine. I don’t know how much of a difference US dollars will make in Russia’s hands, but it’s not good. We should be supporting Ukraine.

Furthermore, Russia has been funding Iran. Which means, indirectly, we’re funding the people we’re still at war with. An illegal war Trump started, with no end in sight, that has destabilized the area and the global economy.

Lower down on the list of atrocities this deal creates, Trump decreed through his executive order that red diesel can be used on the roads. Here’s the thing, though. Executive orders are not laws. Trump is in the Executive Branch. It’s the Legislative Branch that makes laws. All Trump has done is created confusion, and people using red diesel off of farms may be subject to fines and other repercussions from breaking the existing laws.

The best thing Trump could do for all of us is stop breathing.

I’m annoyed by the scam callers

Every day, I take a call. People asking if they want to buy my house. Absolutely not. People claiming to be from “member services,” wanting to talk about my credit card debt. Those calls are usually robots.

People claiming to be from AT&T. People claiming to be from my bank, without stating which bank that’s supposed to be. So many scams. So many thieves.

One of the scammers calling about buying my house caught me while I was really sick, a couple weeks ago. When I get sick, I have even less of a filter than normal.

“Would you be interested in selling your home?” they asked.

“I would rather burn it to the ground than sell it to you,” I said, without missing a beat, and with my voice rough from being sick for so long.

It was the first time I ever stunned one of those callers. There was an uncomfortable pause, they said something that was a cross between “sorry” and “bye” and then they hung up in a hurry.

I cannot summon any sympathy for these people calling me, trying to separate me from my property and savings. They succeed on people less savvy than me. They’re able to sustain their operation because some small percentage of people play into their game. These thieves gorge themselves off of unsuspecting, gullible grandparents, and I really wish they would get the kind of justice they deserve.

I’m tired of being sick

The cough never really went away, and with the change in weather, allergies have hit me pretty hard the last week or so. It’s been hard to sleep. It’s hard to focus. I’m not getting as much done as I want.

I’m not getting any writing done.

I spent most of yesterday in a mostly incoherent fog, and I’ve been spending all day today trying to catch up on the work I missed. It’s not going that well.

I want to feel strong and healthy again. I want to be able to get things done. There’s so much to do, and I’m barely doing anything.

I reinstated Disney Plus

When the stuff was going down with ABC trying to silence Jimmy Kimmel, I tried cancelling my Disney Plus. For some period of time, I did not have access to any of that programming. I missed Wonderman. I never did finish Andor. There’s a bunch of stuff that’s on Disney Plus that I want to see, but I thought it more important to take a stand and withhold my money from Disney until things got better.

As far as I can tell, Disney/ABC aren’t trying to silence anyone anymore. So, maybe my original reason for canceling Disney in the first place has evaporated.

Furthermore, even though I canceled it, the statements make it look like I was still paying for it. That’s… very annoying.

Finally, I want to see Visionquest. I don’t pirate anything.

I hope you don’t think less of me for reinstating my Disney Plus subscription.

What am I going to do about any of this?

Aside from the TV subscription thing, I don’t know that there’s anything I can do. I’m trying to rest as much as I can, to try and get healthy again. I don’t know that there’s anything I can do about the scammers.

As for Trump, I’m voting very soon.

There’s been some noise from some Democrats that if they retake congress, they shouldn’t prosecute Trump.

Here’s the thing. Either our laws apply to everyone, or they apply to no one. When you swear to uphold The Constitution, you are duty-bound to do exactly that. Trump does not have the authority to start wars, and yet he has. Trump does not have the authority to use tax-payer funds to do anything, and yet he has. He didn’t have authority to knock down The White House.

He is the worst. The absolute worst. He’s a criminal, a rapist, and an incompetent, incoherent idiot.

Democrats, if you take The House and The Senate, start the investigations. Assign special councils. Collect the evidence. Do your fucking job, and take the next steps in cleaning up this ridiculous mess. That’s why you’re being elected. That’s the only reason you’re being elected.

Hmm. Seems like I got a little off topic, there.

This one has been more of a rant than anything. Thank you for joining me on it. If I got any facts or details incorrect, please let me know (with sources) so that I can make corrections. I do not want to spread misinformation or do harm.

No one really wants to read my political takes here, and I understand why. Either you’re in agreement with me, in which case we don’t have much to discuss on the topic, or you disagree with me, which will be frustrating because this isn’t a great forum for 2 way communication.

I do read all the comments, though. And I try to reply when I have anything meaningful to reply with. If I’m talk about something, anything, and I don’t have my facts straight and I’m clearly wrong, I’d rather find out about it than continue to spread misinformation or worse, do harm.

It’s difficult to be apolitical in this day and age, because all too often, it’s not a question of politics but morality. For example, Ms. Rachel is a host for kids programming, and you wouldn’t expect a lot of political content from her corner. However, she believes children are dying in Gaza, and she no longer wants to work with celebrities that don’t use their platform to speak out about it. If it was political, it would be Republican vs Democrat, right vs left. She just doesn’t want to see kids get hurt.

There is nuance there, of course. I talked about that with my last post about The Hugos. I think it’s possible to be both against kids dying, and also be against antisemitism. That’s where I’m at.

Making art is a political act. You make a choice as to what will be included in your art, and what it reflects about you and the world. Sometimes, that statement might be “I’m leaving that out, because I don’t want to talk about that in this piece of art,” which I think is reasonable.

That’s what I’m doing with The Psychic Out of Time. I have it set in the summer of 2024, not because I don’t want to update it to be the current year, but because I don’t want to write a story in which Trump is the president. One of the background points in The Mel Walker Stories is that Mel and his friends are preparing for the end of the world. It would be way too easy for me to bring Trump into that, and that’s not the kind of story I want to tell.

We all live in the same world, even if some of the inhabitants appear to be operating on a different information. When we sit down to write a story, we’re bringing our voice, which is a culmination of our experiences, both on and off the page. We make our stories relatable by bringing in bits of the world we know, and the reflections of the people that inhabit our world.

Let’s try an example. Maybe Charlotte’s Web. Is that a political story? Not on the surface, but let’s look a little deeper. Wilbur is an unremarkable pig living on a farm that is doomed to be slaughtered. An intelligent spider named Charlotte helps Wilbur by writing words into her web that the farmers can read. “Some Pig,” “Radiant,” and “Terrific” are examples. Wilbur is spared, Charlotte dies, but not before 3 of her many children remain behind to continue writing messages in the webs, saving Wilbur and allowing him to live a long, happy life.

Charlotte’s Web isn’t a political story, but Wilbur lives in our world. Without utility, or something to make Wilbur stand apart, he is bound to be slaughtered. No one questions this fact of the story. It’s just the way the world works. What does that say about the world? Pigs are slaughtered on farms, no matter how cute or innocent they may be. This is a world that eats meat.

If you squint your eyes, you might be able to see a message here that capital punishment is wrong. Wilbur is a pig, but he and all the other animals on the farm are humanized, and we’re sympathetic to Wilbur and his plight. Slaughtering him would be wrong. Is it not wrong to slaughter humans, or creatures we relate to the way we relate to humans?

Or, maybe there is something there about Utilitarianism. If Wilbur were remarkable on his own, he wouldn’t have to worry about the farmer’s axe. He depends on Charlotte’s unique skill. What does that say about Wilbur and the world he lives in?

I’m not saying any of this is E. B. White’s intention. An artist’s intentions don’t matter as much as what lands on the page. J. K. Rowling claimed for a while that Dumbledore is supposed to be gay, but there’s no evidence of that in the stories themselves. I think it would have been great to have good representation in one of the most famous children’s fantasy series ever, but it’s not there.

In my opinion, it is better to be intentional with the messages that we place into our stories. To do that, we must understand ourselves, our biases, and then we must see where our biases may intersect with the material in our story. There will always be things we say unintentionally, and that’s okay.

For me, whenever I talk about Trump and what he’s done to our country, I get a little heated. I possess a very strong bias and as such, I am avoiding writing stories that include him. I’ll write blog posts about him (probably one tomorrow, if I’m being honest), but unless it is my intention to write about modern politics, I’ll keep him out of my light-hearted, present-day fiction.

The first 4 episodes of the podcast are out. They’re the only episodes I’ve recorded so far, and I think they’re getting better. I’m getting more comfortable with the tools I’m using, and I’m less nervous about putting the content out in the world.

But why put out a podcast at all?

I don’t honestly know. I suppose it all started with Writing Excuses. That’s really the first podcast I listened to for any length in time. I tried a couple of the different SciFi/Fantasy podcasts, and they were fine, but I don’t even remember their names. I think their names changed over time.

Writing Excuses lead to retreats, and other conferences, and I saw them do their thing live several times. It looked like fun.

When The Repossessed Ghost came out, Steven had the idea of doing Live From Baycon that year, and asked if I’d like to interview people. I did it, had a lot of fun doing it, and I’ve been doing “Live From X” episodes for Small Publishing in a Big Universe ever since. It makes up a lot of the SPBU episodes.

A few times, I’ve received compliments, either about how I conduct interviews, or the sound of my voice, or both.

As LLMs and generative AI (I’m never calling it SI) became more pervasive, the timing seemed right. If I can talk about writing in a way that helps people get over the fear of the blank page, if I can show people that writing is, in fact, fun, then maybe they will think differently about using an LLM. Even if I can convince just one person to forego AI in favor of using their own voice, I would consider this whole thing a success.

Looking back, it seems inevitable that I would try this.

But how do you feel about it?

I feel pretty good about what I’ve put out so far. There is quite a bit of work that goes into it, but it doesn’t feel insurmountable anymore. Before I recorded the first episode, I was intimidated by it, and dragged my feet. But now it feels relatively natural, and something I want to continue to do.

From what I can see of the numbers, there are a handful of people listening to the episodes. Spotify warned me that most podcasts like mine average 4 viewers, and I might be beating that by a little bit.

I came into this with very low expectations, and I’m not disappointed with how things are going. This is not the sort of thing that’s going to make me rich or famous. This is just another way for me to put out into the world some of the writing advice, tips, and tricks I’ve been gathering for several years.

Anything else?

There’s a handful of people that consume the podcast on YouTube. Those folks may be further entertained; I bought a green screen. I’m probably just going to put my keyboard logo behind me. It should be less distracting than the blurred background I used on the first 4 episodes.

My camera setup at my desk where I did the original recordings doesn’t work with the green screen, though, because the aperture is so wide. I set it up, tried it, and it is quite comical. I’ll switch back to using my Surface to do the recordings, either with the same microphone or my Yeti Orb. Both are great. I’ll do some experiments with both and see which one I like the best, and then go forward with that.

For those that have checked out the podcast, thank you! I appreciate it, and I hope you got something from it.

I’m going to finish the first season of this, and then evaluate after that whether or not I keep doing this.

If there is anything you’d like me to cover on the podcast, or if you or someone you know would be appropriate for an interview, let me know!

The 4th episode is out!

Here is the YouTube link:

Here is list of items I talked about:

• Emotions and Chapters
• Write as Often as you Can
• Finish What you Star
• Do Whatever Works

A lot of the content for this entry came from this post: https://briancebuhl.com/?p=1080

I said in an earlier post I was going to put the RSS, Spotify, and Apple links up in a doodly-doo at the top, but I haven’t really had time, so here they are again:

RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/1166519d8/podcast/rss

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fxa7eJNO8CFbz9w5OkTMN

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/write-something-good/id6805610402

This episode is the last one I have recorded, which means I need to spend some time either this weekend or the next getting the next 4 recorded, edited, and uploaded.

Tomorrow, I’ll talk more broadly about the podcast, how it’s going, how I feel about it, and what I see for it in the future.

I think this episode is pretty good. I grew more and more relaxed as I recorded, and I think both the content and the presentation are improved because of it. Hopefully the next 4 will be even better.

It’s been a few months now. I’m continuing to meet with my therapist online, every other Wednesday.

So how is it going?

It’s going fine, I think? It’s hard to say.

Why I Started Going to Therapy

I was having a difficult time focusing on work, and on my hobbies. I wasn’t writing. Depressive thoughts were common, and suicidal ideation was a part of my life again. That is to say, I wasn’t actively looking to harm myself, but I did wish my life would end, hopefully without pain. I fell asleep many nights thinking that the world would be objectively better off if I wasn’t in it.

I needed to get the dark thoughts under control. I wanted to get back to feeling more like myself, and doing the things I enjoy doing, and being productive again.

Melissa told me that free, online options would eventually be part of our plan through BlueShield of California. Last year, open enrollment finally gave us the online options. Most of a year after they became available, I finally made an appointment and tried to get my life in order.

How has it helped?

The thing is, it’s hard for me to pin down what has changed. My therapist has given me homework a couple of times, but it’s all easy stuff, and nothing I would expect to change my way of thinking. I talk to him for about an hour every other week. He makes comments occasionally. Sometimes he questions a couple of my statements. That’s it.

There are a few things I’ve observed about myself that have changed since going to therapy. The first is that much of the dark thoughts I experienced were bound up together. They were judgements about the world or myself, tied to each other as “supporting evidence,” one into the next, leading to some horrible conclusions. For example, I would string statements together like:

1. My closest friend tossed me away like used trash
2. I don’t have a ton of friends anymore
3. I am the common factor in all of my relationships
4. Therefore, I’m a terrible human being that doesn’t deserve the comfort and joy that comes from friendships

With therapy, I’ve been able to short circuit some of that “logic” and find other conclusions. The friend that tossed me away and treated me like trash, for example, was being a narcistic asshole. That doesn’t really have anything to do with me. And yes, I don’t have a lot of friends, but I do have some very good ones. It doesn’t really matter that I’m the common thread in all of my relationships; there are other reasons for those relationships to fail. I might be a terrible human being, but everyone deserves love and happiness, and there really isn’t that much evidence to support the notion that I’m worse than anyone else.

The other way that therapy has helped is that my therapist is really good at helping me dissolve the reasons or excuses I come up with not to do something. For example, I knew I wanted to get the first 8 episodes of the podcast recorded and scheduled to go out before Melissa and I went on the cruise. But, I didn’t have time. There was too much to do, and by the time I could actually get to recording, I only had one weekend. It was too much.

“Do you have to record all 8?” My therapist asked.

No. No, I could record a subset.

And so I did. I have scripts/notes for the first 8, but I recorded the first 4, leaving me with just enough time to figure out how to get the podcast set up and the episodes scheduled out.

Going Forward

I still have things to work on. I’m still not writing as much as I want, or building keyboards as much as I need to, and I’m still struggling with work.

Also, my head is still filled with dark and terrible thoughts. They’re not as tightly bound into a knot, holding me down and filling me with dark conclusions. The demons are still inside, and I need to continue to be vigilant and keep them from getting together and painting over my outlook.

Therapy is still scheduled out. I’ll keep showing up, doing the homework, and trying to become the best version of myself. I want to be happy, productive, and proud of myself. I’m not fully there yet, but I’m a work in progress.

I have talked about zombies before. I’ve even talked about Project Zomboid a little bit before. That last link goes to a post capping a 31 day blog challenge in July, three years ago. It used to be unusual for me to play games for so many years.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though. Let’s do this right.

What is Project Zomboid?

Project Zomboid is a sandbox zombie horror survival game with an isometric view and a fairly simple artistic style. It looks a little bit like Sims 2, and depending on your settings, can kind of play a little like Sims 2 as well.

The game is technically in early access, but it’s been in a fairly complete state for many, many years. People have been able to play the game since 2013. Different builds of the game mark landmark feature advancements by the primary game developers.

The current build is 42, which was highly anticipated for several years, as it revamps the crafting system, introduces farm animals, and to everyone’s surprise, brought a sorely needed facelift to the game which made the whole experience fresher and more exciting. Build 42 came out a couple months ago and the game has enjoyed renewed interest and excitement ever since.

I used the phrase “primary game developers” because this game has a thriving mod community. There is a staggering number of mods available for this game. One of them, which I’m not going to play, is called “Project Viewpoint” which changes the game from a top down, isometric display to 1st or 3rd person. The mods for this game run the gamut, from minor, quality-of-life fixes, to completely reshaping the game beyond anything the original creators intended.

The Setting and the Story

The game is set in a fictionalized 1993 Kentucky. Depending on the choices you’ve made starting the game, you are a survivor of the zombie apocalypse, and this is the story of how you died.

You typically start in a house alone, and you have a few moments to loot your house for the things you’ll need to survive, before the zombies start breaking down your door and crashing through your windows. You’ll want to get a weapon, some food, water, some useful tools (such as a can opener), a bag to carry your stuff in… that sort of thing.

This is a pre-Internet world. You get glimpses of Kentucky life through newspapers, radio and TV programs, fliers, and situational, atmospheric story telling.

There really isn’t much in the way of official lore or an intended story in the game. It’s sandbox, and the greatest stories told by this game tells are emergent.

Why does Brian Buhl like this game?

Years ago, when I first started playing it, I think I kind of hated it. The game can be cruel. Things can happen that truly do not feel fair. You can have a character that you care about, that’s survived some terrible situations, die because of a blind corner that you thought you cleared. Or, fall to their death because the game didn’t paint a clear distinction between the floor you’re on and oblivion.

Without cheating, there is no running the clock back, reloading an old save, and continuing as if the mistake didn’t happen. You have one life, and it is fragile, and the entire world is trying to take it from you.

That’s not the kind of game I normally enjoy, and I didn’t enjoy it until something clicked in my head. I started getting better at the game, and the cheap shots stopped landing as often. I started having fun, and even started playing with the sandbox settings to make the game even more challenging.

As your character performs actions in the game, they get better at those actions. There isn’t a leveling system like you would find in a roleplaying game. There is a skill system, which was recently expanded in Build 42. There are all the different weapons skills, but then there is crafting skills such as Carpentry, Blacksmithing, Knapping, Carving, and tons of others. Progression in the game comes from building these skills, up to a value of 10.

Progression is also measured environmentally and through certain accomplishments, such as clearing an area, establishing a base, setting up renewable food sources, building a complete library of skill books, and any other goal a player might set for themselves. The cooking and crafting is extremely flexible, with its own rewards. The game either has depth, or provides a good illusion of having depth.

This is a game that can be played solo or with friends. The experience is different, and I enjoy both.

Anything I don’t like about it?

I think the vision the primary game developers have for this game doesn’t always line up with what I find enjoyable, and I don’t think they are consistent with which elements of the game they choose to be “realistic” and which elements are allowed to feel gamey.

I’m usually not that kind when I think of the developers, actually. I’m not convinced they have a unified vision for the game. I also think they work at cross purposes to their stated and implied intentions.

For example, Build 42 introduces a number of new crafting skills, such as Glassmaking, Blacksmithing, Pottery, Masonry, and Knapping. It is clear that a bunch of effort was made to change the crafting system and expand what a player can do. However, Pottery and Glassmaking are slow to level and don’t offer much to the player in terms of utility. Blacksmithing offers tons of amazing utility, but is one of the worst grinds this game has ever seen. Masonry and Knapping are somewhere in between. The schizophrenic developers are saying with one voice, “Check out these new toys,” and then with another voice, saying, “This game isn’t about thriving in the apocalypse; this is how you died.”

I’m not sure I’m getting the idea completely across, and that’s okay. I’m enjoying the game, and most of the things I would normally complain about can be addressed just by loading a few quality-of-life mods.

Conclusion

Project Zomboid is a good game, but something of an acquired taste. I don’t think this game is for everyone. However, it is widely configurable, with tons of mods available, making it a game that potentially anyone could enjoy.

By the time Build 42 came out, I had stopped playing. I returned a little bit reluctantly, but now I’m playing with more enthusiasm. I’m also playing with easier settings, trying to keep the experience more relaxing. That’s weird to say about a zombie apocalypse game, but it’s true. Clearing a town, building a base, securing power and food… these can be very relaxing and enjoyable experiences.

In my current solo run, I named my character Bella, after the character from The Repossessed Ghost, and it’s amazing what a name can do. It has been a sort of magical experience. Zomboid Bella can’t cast spells, but she’s exceptionally lucky, and really is thriving and making great progress pushing back the zombie hordes. I will be sad when she eventually dies, because that’s how all Project Zomboid games end. In the mean time, it’s a lot of fun, and special treat when I’m not overwhelmed with other real-life challenges.