And on the 7th day, he wrote entirely about himself, because his ego has grown out of control. What an asshole.

I have no idea why I thought this would be an interesting topic. My life is interesting, but not at the day-to-day level. This might be a good cap on the theme of the last few days, where I’ve gone deep into what it’s like to be an author. Or it might be an egotistical exercise that none of us will enjoy. Who can say?

Today is Saturday, and not the greatest example or what my days are typically like. I’m attending a Shut Up & Write marathon. When it’s done, I may go tinker with my mail server to make sure emails are actually going out. I’m not convinced they are.

Instead of describing today, I will describe a more typical day.

It’s Monday morning. The alarm is going off on my phone at 7AM. I either stayed up way too late the night before, or I slept poorly. I always sleep poorly. I can’t blame it on the bed anymore. There’s something wrong with me, and though I have authorization from my insurance company to have a sleep study performed, I still haven’t made the call to see it through. I fumble with my phone to hit the snooze. I don’t have to start my work day until 8AM, and I’m not going into the office today. I can sleep a few more minutes.

I’m up. It’s dangerously close to the time I should be in front of my computer, working. My eyes aren’t working right. There’s gunk in them, and there’s crud in my lungs. When I talk, I sound like a smoker. I believe this is because we slept with the fan running all night again, but without the fan, Melissa roasts. The morning crud will pass, and my eyes will focus better in a few minutes. Just need to hack and cough a bit, and then I’ll be fine.

I’m in my office. It used to be my daughter’s room, and I fixed it up after she moved out. It’s now the room in the house that is most inviting to me. I try to make it inviting to others, too, but it’s small. I hit the KVM switch to turn back to the work laptop. I feel like I’m running late, now.

The work is there waiting for me, and it is impatient. I have to start using my brain immediately. There are problems only I can solve, which is strange, because I’ve spent the last 3 or 4 years teaching other people how to do what I do, but it doesn’t stick. It’s not because I’m a bad teacher, or they’re bad students. I think it’s a combination of factors. First, I have a long and detailed memory. Second, I have a higher-than-usual attention to detail, Third, my loyalty to Trimark is unmatched, and I see the problems from a different perspective than other people. I will do whatever it takes to make Trimark successful. Finally, it’s much, much easier to leave some of the problems for me to fix, and the shortest route to a resolution is the one most taken.

Not all of my work is reactive. It seems like everything is on fire, all the time, but that’s not true. I have some opportunities to work on new things, but we’re not currently focused on the things I need to design. We’re focused on something else, and we’re constantly going a route that I disagree with. But I keep it to myself, because… well, I might be wrong. I’m rarely wrong about these sorts of things, but if I’m right, we can still recover. If I’m wrong, it’s better that I remain silent and not make myself a disruption to the team.

I have a team, by the way. I’ve been a manager for a little while now, and there are aspects about the job that I really like. I like looking out for my people, giving them what they need in order to succeed. This sounds strange, but I used to run raids when I was playing World of Warcraft, and my favorite part of running those raids was seeing a bunch of different people come together and coordinate. I felt like a conductor, and the people in my raid were an orchestra, making something greater than the some of its parts. I get the same sort of feeling when managing. I suspect I might be a very good manager, but it’s hard for me to tell.

Melissa has most likely brought me something to eat, because I forgot to feed myself. I am very thankful. I hope she knows how thankful I am. She’s trying to take care of me.

There is something about the grind of the day that makes me careless of my own health. I have to force myself to get up and walk around the house, from time to time. Some days, good days, I go for a long walk around the neighborhood. If I’m going to keep my blood pressure in check, I need to exercise more and not just reduce my salt. Did I remember to check my blood pressure this morning? Shit.

We’re getting towards the end of the work day. Time has flown by in a blink. I have helped a bunch of different people at work with various problems, and I need to record all of that. We have changed the way we do things, and there is a micromanagement element to time tracking that grates on me. And I’m absolutely terrible at it. I would much rather remain focused on the moment, giving people the answers they need. Was it a replication issue I helped with earlier? Who was it that called me when I was in the middle of that Flexible Logic Controller issue? I have to record everything I’ve done today, and I’m going to do a terrible job of it and get yelled at again. This is the one aspect of my job I hate. It’s the thing that has me referring to my work as “Day Job” instead of Trimark. If I leave or get fired, the time tracking will be the catalyst.

It is 5PM and I can’t keep my eyes open. There is a tiny couch in my room. I’ll just lay my head down for a few minutes. A thirty minute power nap, and I’ll be ready to work on something that nourishes my soul, rather than fill a time bucket to be turned in for money.

It’s 6:30PM. So much for a thirty minute power nap. My neck is sore and I feel groggy and out of sorts. I feel more tired than I did when I laid down for a nap, but if I go to sleep now, my schedule is going to be even more messed up than it usually is. Besides, wasn’t there something else I was supposed to be doing tonight?

Melissa and I make dinner happen. If it’s a really good night, we work on it together in the kitchen. If it’s a bad night, we order in. Melissa enjoys cooking way more than I do, and she thinks I’m pickier than I am. Tonight, she makes something that involves ground turkey and noodles and tomatoes. She’s really helping me watch my salt.

Somehow, it’s 8:30PM. I’m in my office again. I want to write, but I can’t find the threads to my story. There’s something about the work day that’s still bothering me. I watch some YouTube videos. I check Discord and see if any of my friends are around. Maybe we’ll play some games.

It’s Monday night, so the garbage has to go out to the curb.

If it’s a good night, I succeed in writing a blog post, and maybe work a little bit on a short story that I’ve been dragging out for months. If it’s a fair night, I have enough energy to play a video game. If it’s a bad night, there is a long-running video playing in the background while I play solitaire. I have reached the point with solitaire that I don’t have to think anymore. I don’t want to think. I’m listening to something, maybe it’s a D&D game on Dropout.tv. I want to play in a roleplaying game, but there aren’t really any invites coming my way for that, and I don’t have the time or energy to make a game happen myself. I don’t have the time or energy to do anything. I’m just mindlessly moving digital cards, sitting, doing nothing. Feeling like I can’t do anything. There’s no fuel left to feed the fire.

The sound of the TV in my bedroom has finally diminished. Melissa likes these horrible drama shows, like Married at First Site. I can’t stand them. It’s the worst people, doing terrible things, and being terrible to each other. It depresses me.

It’s almost midnight. Or it might be a little after midnight. I intended to come to bed over an hour ago, but I lost track of time. Maybe I should set an alarm to tell me to go to bed? There were a lot of things I wanted to do tonight, and I don’t think I did even half of them. I might not have done any of them. I go to bed, and I try to sleep, but I have this dread about the next day to come.

If I don’t find a way out of this cycle…

Anyway.

That’s a relatively typical week day. Looking back over it, it reads like a horror story. I don’t think that’s what I intended when I added this topic to my list.

Tomorrow will be more fun, because I get to talk fiction.

There’s a podcast for writers that is pretty neat. Actually, there are lots of them, and if you’ve been following me for any period of time, you might think I’m about to mention Writing Excuses. I love Writing Excuses, but tonight’s podcast (and marketplace) is Small Publishing in a Big Universe. Steven Radecki wrote a presentation in association with SPBU which talks about the various ways to publish. I can’t find a public link to his presentation, so I’ll just talk about the subject myself, and hope I do it justice.

Edit: Steven has given me this link, which has this other link to the presentation I was thinking of. Similar subject, but presented from a different perspective.

When talking about publishing a story, there are three main routes:

1. Self Publishing
2. Small Publisher/Independent Publisher
3. Traditional Publisher/Big Five

There are probably a couple of other routes I could mention, such as academic publishing, but the other routes aren’t common or accessible for authors writing fiction. Sure, publishing a puff piece in a newspaper can be full of fictitious content, but we’re concerning ourselves tonight with books and short stories.

Self Publishing

You finished a book, and now you want people to read it. Just post it to Amazon and watch the money roll in, right? After all, you’ve spent six whole weeks working on this first draft, and after all that time, we wanna get paid.

Slow up, Flash. Take a deep breath, and maybe a step back from a bad decision.

Self publishing is absolutely a viable route, but there are things you should know and do before throwing the manuscript over the fence. You’re starting a business, and you’re generating a product. You are responsible for everything, and it’s important to know exactly what you’re responsible for.

Editing

You need an editor. It’s possible you don’t think you need an editor, but trust me, you do. Everyone does. You have been staring at your pile of words longer than anyone, and in the process, you have become blind to your own mistakes. Have you ever stopped in one of those rural areas that’s close to cattle, and when you get out of the car, your nose is assaulted with an odor strong enough to turn your stomach? The locals appear unaffected. They’ve become acclimated and don’t notice the stink. When it comes to your manuscript, you’re a local, and the smell is wafting off of your unedited story.

There are different types of editing, and you may need all of it. There is developmental editing, which goes deep into the content of your story and helps shape it into something that actually makes sense. Structural editing may be part of this, which reshapes the story so that it flows well and follows a coherent style. There is line and copy editing, which may deal with spelling and punctuation, but usually deals with grammar, word choice, and overall enhancements to the writing quality. Then there is mechanical editing, which is all about spelling, grammar, punctuation, and formatting. Depending on the editor, some of these types of editing passes are included together, or they may require additional work by other editors.

Have you written about someone with a disability when you yourself are not disabled in that way? Have you written about someone that is gay while you are straight, black while you are white, a victim of domestic violence that you have never experienced, or some other marginalized identity that does not apply to you? Chances are, you could use a sensitivity reader. Sensitivity readers aren’t necessarily editors. They don’t even have to be writers. They’re subject matter experts on their lives, and if they tell you that what you have written is harmful, you need to listen to them and make appropriate corrections in your story. Also, pay your sensitivity readers. It’s hazard pay. By reading your story, they’re taking a chance and exposing themselves to trauma.

Cover Art

Your cover is the first thing prospective readers will see, and they will use it to judge your book. Unless you’re a visual artist, you’re going to need someone that can dress up your book and make it look good. Maybe you’re like me, and you’ve never been swayed or put off by a cover. You and I may be rare, because there are lots of people that will look at the cover and if it doesn’t appeal to them, they won’t buy it.

Maybe your daughter is an artist, and you figure you can save some money by having her make the cover for your book. My daughter is also an artist, and as sweet as it would be to work together on a project, she’s never created a book cover before, so she has no idea what to do about dimensions, formatting for the spine, or any of the other things that experienced cover artists know. She could learn, but is her art style even a good match for the story?

A professional cover artist is worth paying for. They will work with you, and will probably ask questions you’ve never thought to ask. Niki Lenhart, the artist that created the cover for The Repossessed Ghost, created multiple versions before we landed on the one that I loved. Niki had to endure my inexperience and indecisiveness in order to come up with what I think is the perfect cover for my story. Your cover artist is going to have to deal with your idiosyncrasies, too, so pay them what they deserve. They will literally make or break your book.

Marketing

You’re responsible for getting the word out. Do you have a social media presence? You’re probably going to want one, but keep your expectations in check; social media does not translate into very many sales.

Professional conferences, blog guest spots, features in other people’s newsletters… there’s a lot of frustrating work in front of you, just to spread the word that your story exists. And there are no guarantees.

Remember: Amazon will not promote your story unless it is already selling. How do you get the sales? Friend, if there was an easy answer to this question, we would all be doing it.

Why Self-Publish?

The main reason an author will self publish is control. They have complete authority over every aspect of their book and their career. They can hire whatever editor or artist they want to, that they can afford. They may try their hand at doing it all themselves, though most people lack the skills necessary, and will only generate mediocrity.

Also, when you self-publish, you don’t have to share the profits with anyone. Well… the printing and distribution will still take their cut. And of course you had to hire people in order to make your story shine. And there might have been some other costs incurred while trying to market your book. But other than that, you get all of the profits!

Small Publisher/Independent Publisher

This is the route I have gone with The Repossessed Ghost, and it has been ideal for me. I looked into self-publishing for years before I found Water Dragon Publishing. I looked at all the skills required to start a successful business and determined that, while I could learn everything necessary, I’d rather most of my time be spent actually writing.

Editing

Your publisher should have at least one editor to work with you on your story. Just bear in mind that the resources of a small publisher are dependent on how small they are. Your story might have been scrutinized by a development editor during the submission process, so if it looks like it will be painful or expensive to work on your story, you might not get accepted at all.

The theme throughout this whole section is that a small publisher is small, so their resources are limited. If you have a problem working with the first editor you’re assigned to, there may not be a second editor to turn to.

You’re not on your own like you are when self-publishing. However, you will be well served to pay extra attention during this process. Your attention to detail may be the deciding factor as to whether or not your book is successful.

Cover Art

Your publisher should put you in touch with a cover artist. Again, resources may be limited. If you know a cover artist that you’d like to work with, you might approach your publisher and see if something can be worked out.

Small publishers are always looking for talented people they can work with, that do reliable work at an affordable rate.

Marketing

From what I can tell, marketing is the biggest difference between the small and big publishers. Again, with a small publisher, resources are limited. They are not going to have the same kind of reach as The Big Five. With a small publisher, it is unlikely that your books will show up in Barnes & Noble.

Your publisher should have some markets that they will submit your book to, but just like with self publishing, a lot of the promotion is going to be on your shoulders.

There are still no guarantees, and everyone is looking for that magic spell that will summon all the readers to buy their book. There is no magic, though. Only luck.

Why Work with a Small Publisher?

As Steven writes in his presentation, independent publishing is self publishing. Much of the pros and cons of self publishing are still present, but you’re no longer having to weather the storm alone.

Consider a group of self publishing writers that have been managing their businesses for a while. They know what they’re doing, but each of them possess different strengths and weaknesses. After a fortuitous meeting, they determine that the best thing they can do is pool their resources and work together. That’s small publishing.

What I have found with Water Dragon is a community of like-minded and talented writers. That appeals to me.

I haven’t had to pay for editing services or a cover artist. I also share profits on the individual sales with the publisher. The percentage of the pie I get is larger than if I was working with a big publisher.

One of the deciding factors for me was that small publishers will touch genres that big publishers aren’t buying. The Repossessed Ghost is a good story that deserved to be in the world, but since my name isn’t Jim Butcher or Ilona Andrews, The Big Five was never going to give my story a shot.

Traditional Publisher/Big Five

If you want the largest audience possible, you’re going to have to publish with The Big Five. The Big Five are:

• Penguin Random House
• Hachette
• HarperCollins
• Macmillan
• Simon & Schuster

You may have heard recently about the buying and selling of Simon & Schuster. Penguin Random House almost bought them, but instead, a private equity firm, KKR, bought it. I believe this is the same firm that bought Toys R Us. So, who knows if there will be a “Big Five” for much longer.

Let’s break this down the way I broke down the other options.

Editing

Everyone wants to see your book succeed, and there is a budget to make sure that happens. Of course, if you’re a new writer, that budget might be extremely small. The Big Five have battalions of editors at their disposal, but if you are paired with one early on that doesn’t share your vision, you could be in for a wild and bumpy ride.

The publisher should do their best to accommodate you and make you comfortable. But, there have been nightmare stories.

You need to remember that it is your name on the cover, and you need to make sure that the book passes through the editing process and comes out on the other side as something that you can be proud of. You need to have the confidence and wherewithal to call out problems, and you need to do it in such a way that you’re not “rocking the boat.” Be professional and assertive.

Cover Art and Marketing

With the Big Five, Cover Art and Marketing go together. In fact, the title of your book is a marketing decision, too.

If my Mel Walker story had been picked up by one of the random penguins, would it still have been called The Repossessed Ghost? It’s hard to say. I remember an executive editor for one of the publishers telling me the name sounded clunky. I think the name fits, but someone in marketing might have come up with something that would make it sell.

I also know that marketing is my weakest subject, so having a marketing budget and experts helping me make decisions like that would have been a huge boon.

Marketing is the advantage Big Publishers have over Small Publishers. From my perspective, it might be the only real advantage that matters.

The Issues with Big Publishers

I’m not going to go into the reasons why working with a Big Publisher is good, because they’re too obvious. Yes, you’ll get a smaller percentage off of every sale, but the numbers dwarf what you’ll get when going out on your own or working with an independent publisher.

Before you can work with the Big Five, you need an agent. You might be able to get an offer through an acquiring editor, but those are rare, and even when it happens, the publisher will still want to work through an agent.

The agent relationship will be one of the most important in your life, and is worth its own post. Your agent is going to be pivotal to your entire career. Having a bad agent is worse than having no agent at all.

The main problem with Big Publishers is that they bank on what they predict will be guaranteed wins. They put their budget towards already established authors. New authors are not as well supported or funded, which makes it harder for them to succeed.

Big Publishers will abandon stories or authors if the sales are not what they expect. They do not always consider factors outside the author’s control, such as Donald Trump getting elected in 2016, or a global pandemic driving everyone indoors in 2020.

It is extremely difficult to get in with the big publishers, and it seems like a precarious place to be if you don’t become a household name. Most people do not become household names.

No one really knows what they’re doing, but The Big Five think they do. They have some of the answers, for sure, but the process is flawed.

Consider how Harry Potter came to be. It was turned down 12 times before getting picked up by Bloomsbury in the UK. As I understand it, an editor’s daughter loved the book and was the first advocate for it. Whatever your feelings about J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter was an extraordinarily successful series. The Big Publishing filter would never have let it see the light of day.

Final Thoughts

Only you can determine what your career should look like. I know successful and happy authors that are completely self published. I also am well acquainted with many successful writers that work with The Big Five. Every author is different, and every author walks a slightly different path than the rest.

Regardless of how you publish, you will need patience. If you get a book deal with The Big Five, it could be a couple of years before you actually see it in print. Small publishers can move faster, but it’s not guaranteed. And as I alluded to at the beginning, when you self publish, you can go as fast as you want, but you may not be well served rushing.

Last night, I tried to establish that the careers of authors are as varied as the authors themselves. Most of us aren’t going to make enough money off our writing to change our lives. If that’s the case, how does the author measure their success?

It just so happens that over on Bluesky, a couple of well established authors have been talking about success. Delilah S. Dawson described what it’s like being a career writer right now, and how stressful it is because so much of a writer’s success comes down to luck. All it takes is for the right person to pick up your story at the right time, and suddenly, your dreams are realized. As Delilah puts it, the equation is skill + time + luck. You have control over two of those factors, so keep honing your skills and putting in the time, and hope that luck finds you.

John Scalzi also reiterated how much luck has played a part in his career. He acknowledges that he is an excellent writer, because he is, and he has also been quite fortunate to find his path through the proverbial jungle. He’s recently returned from a trip to Budapest where he received The Grand Prize of Budapest. I think if anyone exemplifies the formula Delila Dawson described, skill + time + luck, it’s John Scalzi.

So, if skill + time + luck = success, what does success look like?

Sometimes, it looks like money. If you’re able to support yourself on your writing alone, I would say you’re successful. If the money you make from your writing pays your way to go to conventions and writing retreats, you are successful. Hell, if it allows you to take the one you love out to a nice meal, that is also success. Writers sink a lot of time into their stories. It’s nice to get paid for that time.

Then again, some writers aren’t looking to publish. Are they not still successful? Jennifer Carson and I had a conversation on this blog 9 years ago about what it is to be a successful writer, and publishing is not necessarily part of that definition. Most people that set out to write a book never get to the end, so simply finishing a story is a huge win.

If you’re looking for a way to measure success, measure it in joy. Does your work make you happy? Are your stories bringing joy to others? Our capitalist society wants you to believe that something only has value if you can put a price tag on it, but that is a lie. There is value in happiness.

I haven’t talked about fame or recognition as measures of success. Not all writers that are recognizable are rich. My buddy Michael Gallowglas is quite popular in many circles, but if you’ve attended any of his live storytelling shows, you’ll know from context that he’s not pulling in Stephen King, George R. R. Martin, or J. K. Rowling money. (If you haven’t attended one of his shows, you should correct that. What I just described is a bit from his show.)

To a certain degree, fame seems more like a curse than a blessing. I remember running briefly into Brandon Sanderson on the ship during Writing Excuses Retreat 2022, and there was a moment of fear in his eyes. We’d met many times before that, and I don’t think he recognized me. He saw that I recognized him though, and he probably thought I was about to mob him like so many of his fans. I gave him a smile and a greeting and kept going, and he visibly relaxed.

Suffice it to say, fame can be a measure of success as an author. For my part, it’s not what I’m looking for.

I’m looking for readers. I want fans of my stories, which sounds a little bit like fame, but I see it differently. I want people to sink into my stories and get immersed, and when they climb out the other side, look around hungrily for the next book. I want to make people feel and think. With The Repossessed Ghost, I want people to be able to escape for a little while and have a fun adventure.

If I measured success only in dollars, I would just focus on the Day Job. I’m well paid for my work as a programmer, and an enormous paycheck would have to arrive for my hourly rate as a writer to come close to comparing to my hourly rate as a programmer. It’s not something I’m ever going to expect.

In summary, you must define for yourself what success looks like as an author. No one else can define it for you. And if you don’t know the answer now, that’s okay, too! Just keep writing, putting in the time.

Yesterday was a lot of fun. Tonight, we’ll come back to reality. What is it actually like to be an author?

Let me begin where I ended yesterday, which is to say every author is different. I can talk about my experiences and relay some of the things I’ve learned speaking to authors at various points on their career. But since every writer is different, every writer’s career is going to be different. Some of us move along similar paths, but what works for one person may or may not work for the next. Also, the profession has changed over time. There is no one-size-fits-all description for the author life.

As part of a presentation I put together for the Day Job, I looked up some numbers about writers. Only around 10% of people that set out to write a book actually finish. Of those, less than 10% publish. I don’t know how many people are able to sustain themselves on their writing career alone, but those numbers are painfully small.

It’s difficult to get into stores. You’re extremely unlikely to write a book that will find its way into a Walmart. It’s relatively easy to get your book onto Amazon with everyone else, but Amazon is only going to promote your book under very specific circumstances.

Like yesterday, let me paint a picture of what the author life is like for most writers.

As an author, you’re going to have a Day Job so that you can pay your bills and stay afloat. You may be passionate about writing, and you may be talented and driven, but the market is fickle and there is no easy guarantee of success. Whether you’ve put out one book or ten, it’s most likely going to be a struggle for you to live a comfortable, stable lifestyle based purely on the sales of your books.

You might have a Patreon. Lots of authors have those, these days. The extra income will help make your financial situation more stable. In fact, if you’re one of the few lucky authors that gets to quit their Day Job, Patreon might be the first step. But if you have your Day Job, don’t quit it just yet. When your job gets in the way of financial gains, you’ll know you’ve reached the point to take the leap.

Time never seems to be on your side. You may be working under a deadline. You might have a family that deserves your attention, or other hobbies that you rely on to maintain your mental stability. Finding a healthy balance is a constant shuffle. The author’s life is just a constant effort to keep all the plates spinning.

Some authors are doing very well. The superstar, ridiculously rich authors are basically lottery winners. You know their names, and there aren’t that many of them. But people that don’t know any better will compare you to their work, whether that comparison is favorable or not. You may dream of attaining their wealth or fame, but chances are, that’s not why you continue to write.

Authors write because that’s what we’ve always done. We enjoy it. We may want to support ourselves on our stories, but if we are wise, we will keep our expectations in check and just keep showing up to do the work.

It is work, by the way. The words don’t always show up on the page without a fight. Some writers make it look easy, but for most of us, we have to dig deep, unpack our adjectives, spelunk our mind palaces, and really push to get the right words to line up in the right order.

Some authors write every day. Good for them. Some write when they can squeeze it into their schedule. Some write for a couple hours at most a day. Some sit down and write until the coffee pot is empty, or when the sun has gone down, or when their spouse finally drags them away from their keyboard because they’ve been at it all day already and damn it, you said you were going to spend some time with me this evening and it’s already getting late.

Authors go long periods of time without getting the feedback they desperately crave. Authors are the camels of the art world, plodding along, carrying their own water, marching through the desert of isolation, hoping to find an oasis of sales and recognition before their resolve gives out.

It doesn’t happen to every author, but most of us forget whatever magic spell we wove in order to produce the previous book. Every time we start a new project, we have to learn how to write that story, because they all demand different nutrients in order to grow and thrive.

No matter how hard we work on a story, there will always be readers that don’t get it. Sometimes the criticism we receive is deserved. Sometimes, when the reader laid eyes on our carefully crafted story, they just weren’t in the mood.

For the most part, the author life is not glamorous. But it really is the life I want. And I’ll keep showing up to work, putting in the hours, because whether the rest of the world sees it or not, it’s who I am.

Today was another rough day. It went longer than it should have, and I still haven’t finished everything I needed to finish for the Day Job. So, tonight, let’s have some fun. Let’s indulge in pure fantasy and dive deep into the most outlandish dreams and notions people project onto the author life.

Authors don’t need to work for a living, really. They don’t need to wake up to an alarm clock. They are not required to go anywhere or do anything special for their job. They make up stories and live like rock stars. Better than rock stars. Musicians usually have to go on tour when they’re not in a studio. Authors can stay at home all the time if they want.

And why wouldn’t they? With the kind of money authors make, they can afford rambling mansions. Laundry? Cooking? Yard care? They have staff that take care of that. Sometimes, the author will spend the day in the pool. Maybe they’ll tinkle around on their grand piano. The writing happens eventually, but that’s really just an afterthought, since it’s so easy. At least, it’s easy for them. They made it where they did because of their gift.

They don’t have to stay at home, though. In fact, taking a year to go eat in Italy, pray in India, and fall in love in Indonesia is such a common activity for authors, they made a book and a movie about it. Traveling the world and seeing all the sites is a requirement for the author because how else will they fill their stories with vivid descriptions? The author life is a jet-setter’s life.

Kids dream of being astronauts, firefighters, or maybe the President of the United States. If they knew what I know, they’d dream of being an author. If you turn on the television and flip through a few channels, you’re sure to land on a based-on-reality show about an author that’s solving mysteries and fighting crime. Jessice Fletcher? Richard Castle? There are others, and it’s a common trope for a reason. Authors see the world differently than regular people, which makes them better at fighting crime than Batman.

Truly, is there anything an author can’t do? I don’t think so.

Obviously, this is why I’m so driven to change careers. I crave that rich lifestyle. It explains why people are interested in using artificial intelligence to write stories for them. If they can just get their foot in the door, surely all that author wealth will just start pouring in.

You basically don’t even need to do anything once you’re an author, you know. Look at George Martin and Pat Rothfuss. No one really believes that they stress over their unfinished work, right? There is no way that the weight of their respective series keeps them up at night. They’re unbothered by the voices of picky fans demanding they “get back to work.” They don’t need to work, anymore. They’re authors.

I cannot stress enough how low stress the author life is. You don’t spend any time whatsoever worrying about what people think of your writing. You move through life with complete confidence, knowing that all of your stories will sell always, and the audience will be there in line for your next book, without fail. Authors know their value. They know they’re the real-deal.

There are some authors that keep writing. Not because they have to, but because they want to. Fortunately for them, since they’ve finished at least one book, they know exactly what they’re doing on the subsequent books. Have you ever heard an author say something along the lines of, “I feel like I’ve completely forgotten how to write”? Me, neither!

Everyone respects authors and the choices they make in their stories. No one ever walks up to an author and says, “You know what you should do in your next story? Let me tell you.” When an author is talking to someone about the story their writing, whether it be a stranger or a loved one, the other person never stops them and asks, “Oh, when’s it coming out?” And authors always have a ready, intelligent answer for the question, “What’s your story about?”

This author experience I have described in great detail is universal and without exception. Any author reading this will back me up and tell you that this is entirely true. Authors either make it or they don’t, and their path to success is the same every time.

You can trust me on this, because if you click on the banner on my blog, or search my name on Amazon, you’ll find that I’m an author. Therefore, I’m something of an authority on this subject.

I hope that I don’t land on too many stereotypes here. It would be really easy. If I do, please know that I’m not trying to be hurtful or reductive. This is all coming from a good place.

Specifically, it’s coming from an exhausted place. I just finished a very long work day. It’s Monday, and I forced myself to log off my work laptop and switch to this other system so that I could write this blog post and not screw up my writing goal on Day 2.

The title might suggest that I’m not a technical person. I very much am. I have been as long as I could remember. When I was very small, I would crawl behind the TV and switch the connections between the gaming system and the cable box. By “small” I mean, around 5 or 6. I somehow knew what I was doing.

Most of my day is spent trying to brain as hard as I can, and hope that I know what I’m doing. Sometimes the work can be very reactive, where things have gone wrong and they need to be fixed. Much of my time these days is spent in meetings. What I’m trying to say is that when you’re working a technical job, you can’t wait for the right muse or mood to inspire you. Whatever may be going on in your head and heart, you have to show up and do the work.

Some of the best artists I know also operate like that. The idea of waiting for a muse to whisper in the writer’s ear is a myth, and not a healthy one. You have to show up to work, whether your job is technical, creative, somewhere in between, or something completely different.

When I have opportunities these days to program, I do feel like I’m able to be creative and do creative things. In general, you don’t want your code to be too abstract or esoteric, because other people need to read it and there are standards to maintain. But a programmer generally has a lot of freedom when they’re coming up with solutions or designing a system. Some solutions are more efficient than others, but there are many to choose from.

So what am I bitching about? What’s the point of this?

The point is that in this stupid, capitalist world, a writer doesn’t make as much money as a programmer, mostly because art is not as valued. The point is that I must do the thing that pays the bills in order to afford to spend time on the job that I want to do.

And there are days like today where, once I’ve finished the Day Job, I don’t have a lot of mental energy left in the tank to spend on the dream job.

That’s the problem. Time is money, and in order to stay afloat, I must give the lion’s share of my time to something that does not feed my creative side.

In the past, I have tried to do all the things. There were a few years where I really tried to maintain the Day Job, writing side-gig, music hobby, and I even tried teaching kids how to program twice a week in an afterschool program. I was also trying to stay involved in an ongoing roleplaying game, be a Dad to my kids, a husband to my wife, and maintain my house. It was too much, and I ultimately didn’t do any of it very well.

I stopped teaching first. Then I dropped out of the bands. After that, I found equilibrium and was able to finish and actually publish stories.

It’s been over a year since I’ve finished any real stories. I can probably be forgiven for some of this year, as publishing The Repossessed Ghost took some time, and it was real authorly work. And I’ve been working very slowly on a follow-up story, and I have plans to work on a sequel novel in November.

But I still feel spread thin. Thin enough that repairing the flat tire on my car slipped through the cracks this morning and I barely noticed. That’s a sign that things are out of balance again.

I’m still going to keep showing up, though. I’m not going to quit.

There are days like today where once I leave the Day Job behind, it is very tempting to just go to sleep and hope for more time the next day, writing be damned. And I can tell you from experience that that way lies depression and burnout.

It’s the first day of October, and you know what that means!

It means September just ended! And pumpkin spice drinks have already been out for a couple of weeks! The Halloween stuff in stores have been out just long enough to start collecting dust!

And, I’m about to write a blog post every day for 31 days, just to prepare myself for a hopefully successful National Novel Writing Month in November.

I’ve only succeeded at Nanowrimo 3 times but each of those 3 times happened after a successful Blogtober. The effort involved in Blogtober opens me up, getting me in the habit of making hard choices and making time to put words on the page. There is no real narrative in these blog posts. There is no main character. There is just the topic, and whatever my thoughts are on the subject in 300 to1000 word chunks.

Mmm. Delicious chunks.

To have a successful Blogtober, it helps to come into October with a plan, or a list of topics. The topics this month (not necessarily in order):

1. Welcome to Blogtober 2023
2. The Continuing Struggle of Being a Creative Person Working in a Technical Field
3. Romanticizing the Author Life
4. The Realities of the Author Life
5. Measuring Success as an Author
6. Publishing Routes Unpacked
7. A Day in the Life of Brian C. E. Buhl
8. Mel Walker Short Story: The Psychic on the Jury
9. Mel Walker Sequel: Untitled So Far
10. How to Write a Villain
11. How to Write a Hero
12. The Current State of Social Media
13. Dragon Gems
14. When Do You Stop Learning to Write?
15. The Attractiveness of Drama
16. The Future of Writing
17. Are People Still Reading?
18. Roleplaying Games and the Writing Itch
19. Zombies!
20. Dehumanization in Stories
21. People Love People that are Driven
22. October 22, 2023 Update
23. Relationships in Stories
24. Sanderson’s Laws Simplified
25. The Good and Bad of Audiobooks
26. How Much Detail is Too Much Detail
27. The Flashlight Approach to Story Writing
28. Psychics Versus Mages
29. Running Away From a Story
30. The “Buy My Book” Post
31. Happy Halloween 2023

I have a couple of spare topics to slot in if it I decide any of these are too much alike, or if I don’t think I have enough to say on the subject. For example, the post on Zombies and the post on Dehumanization both have a lot of overlap. I think I have enough unique things to say about both subjects, and I think one leads into the other. I may call an audible in the middle of the month, though, and do something completely different.

I have Mike Baltar to thank for helping me come up with this list. I spent most of the day with him yesterday. We had lunch, then wrote at his place for a little bit, and talked about various writing topics. Thank you so much, Mike!

One Last Thing…

I do not believe that emails have been going out like they’re supposed to. I think the last OS update I did to the server housing my blog may have broken my mail services. The update originally broke this blog entirely, but I was able to put it back together, mostly.

To be fair, my mail server has been complete garbage for about a year already. In the next day or two, I’m going to try and rebuild it. I’m hopeful that the updates won’t mess up the blog again, but there is a chance of interruptions. It can’t be helped.

In other words, I know a handful of you have relied on the blog posts getting email to you, which is currently not working. I’m going to try and get that functionality back, maybe even tonight.

Thank you for your patience while I rebuild some of things behind the scenes!

Initially, I wanted to revisit Gail Simone’s Women in Refrigerators, with a specific look at the term “fridging” and how it is used today. The more research I did, however, the more I realized I had more to say on the subject of writing women characters in general.

Another way to put it: look up “breasting boobily.” Whatever you want to call that, I hope to do the opposite. But mostly I want to help other writers make believable characters that have depth and agency.

Part 1 — What is Fridging?

Let’s begin with the thing I wanted to talk about in the first place, which is the term “fridging.” We will start with where the term came from, its original meaning, and how it is being used today.

Gail Simone, an excellent writer and probably not a bear, observed that a number of women characters in comics were being killed or abused in order to advance the plot of their male counterparts. The observation began with Green Lantern #54, in which the Green Lanter of the time, Kyle Rayner, returns to his apartment to find his girlfriend, Alexandra DeWitt, dead in the refrigerator. The death takes place out of frame, and we witness the revelation of the death through the perspective of Kyle.

There are lots and lots of examples of this in the comics. The term grew out of these observations and is common enough that I probably didn’t need to explain it to you.

To put it another way and give it a plain definition, fridging is another type of objectification, in which the women are denied agency and only used as plot devices for male characters. This happens with people of color and other marginalized folks, but I have only seen the term applied to women characters.

Part 2 — Why Do I Want to Talk About Fridging?

There are two reasons I want to talk about Fridging. First, I believe people are misusing the term and watering it down. I see people using the term whenever a woman character is killed, regardless of the circumstances.

For example, I saw a lot of people say that Black Widow was fridged in Avengers: Endgame. This strikes me as remarkably unfair to Black Widow. The audience knew as soon as the sequence began that someone was going to die, and Black Widow and Hawkeye both tried to throw themselves off the cliff to save the other person. In that sense, it was a heroic death that took place on screen. The character didn’t die because she lacked agency; she died because she chose to and was able to outplay Hawkeye.

Also, fridging usually happens at the hands of a male writer. I might have this wrong, but I believe the decision to kill Black Widow in that scene came from a woman editor.

Misusing the term not only dilutes it. It leads people away from the main issue, which is that women characters exist not merely to act as motivation for men. Women characters are characters and should be allowed to have depth and all of the stories and plot points that male characters enjoy. This includes heroic deaths.

Part 3 — Why Else Do I Want to Talk About Fridging?

The other reason I bring up fridging has to do with The Repossessed Ghost, and a review that made me doubt myself.

I didn’t seek out the review. I don’t believe it’s posted to Amazon or Goodreads. A very nice lady ordered my book after meeting me at a writing event, and she texted me what she thought of the book. She liked it! Gave it 4 stars on Amazon and praised the world building.

Here is what she said that unsettled me: “As a woman reader, it would have been nice to have at least one woman character who isn’t a victim of domestic violence.”

Yikes.

It made me question everything. Do I have some kind of unknown dislike for women? Am I bad person?

Did I fridge Kate?

For those that have not read the book yet (and it’s okay if you haven’t, but I do wish you would), Kate is the ghost that the main character, Mel, meets at the very beginning. As a ghost, Kate shares the adventure with Mel. She is, in fact, the titular character. This is not a spoiler. The repo and introduction literally happens in the first chapter.

Kate dies before the book begins, so did I fridge her?

I would argue that I do not. Kate is not objectified. While her agency is somewhat limited by the predicament of not having a physical body, she still affects the story significantly. There is more I could say about her and her agency (and even her death), but that would get into spoilers.

Part 4 — How to Write Women Characters

To avoid fridging, write a fully realized character.

That’s really all there is to it. Focus on the character and not the gender.

This sounds crazy and reductive, but if you are good at writing a male character, just do whatever you’re doing to make them fleshed out and give them a woman’s name. You may or may not be surprised at how little gender matters for most characters in a story.

If you don’t believe me, look at how the script for Alien was written. All of the characters were created essentially gender neutral, so when casting, they could pick any actor for any of the roles. Ripley being a mother wasn’t added as part of her backstory until the second movie.

What makes a woman character a woman? You can ask the same question about what makes a man character a man. Answer: it’s not their genitals.

When I sit down to write a man, I don’t worry about whether or not they’ll come off as masculine. I determine what they want, what they’re willing to do, and I put them in scenarios that test them. As a man, I feel like I can write another man with authenticity.

When I sit down to write a woman, I treat them exactly like I treat my male characters. I give them wants and needs. I figure out their voice. And I put them in scenarios that test them, too.

If I stop and think of what my women characters have gone through, in isolation, it looks like I’m really mean to them. If you compare them to how my male characters are treated, however, the scales balance.

Are women more sensitive? Some are!

Are men physically stronger? Not always!

It is easy to fall into stereotypes when creating new characters and applying gender. It is also simple to step into cliche. My recommendation is to leave that at the door and make characters that are realistic and exceptional at the same time. Give them a unique voice and your audience will love them, regardless of their gender.

Part 5 — In Summary…

In summary, do not objectify your characters. That is the heart of what it is to fridge them. Make your characters leap off the page. Give them quirks and strengths and weaknesses. Ask them what they want. Spend most of the book denying them, unless giving them what they want would make things worse.

Finally, go read The Repossessed Ghost and tell me what I got wrong and what I got right when crafting my women characters.

One of the things I love about the Writing Excuses Retreat is that the stratification between guest and host is not severe. There is some separation, but the hosts do an excellent job making us feel like we are all writers on the same journey; some are just further along the path than others.

I have found that I get the most out of these retreats by volunteering. It makes me feel like a more active participant, and in some small way, I feel like I’m giving back to this community that has already given me so much.

This year and last, I volunteered to help with Office Hours, which is just a time in the morning when some of the hosts go to a designated area and give one-on-one advice to people in 15 minute chunks. For anyone taking advantage of these times, it is invaluable, and it can be a real highlight of the entire trip. Volunteers help set up the space and manage the sign-up sheet, basically just doing their best to make sure that chaos doesn’t overtake the space.

This morning, thanks to the time change and the earlier start time, we only had one host available to offer their advice. One host and a shorted time meant only 3 time slots available, and they filled up fast, leaving a small number of writers looking to talk to somebody. I wound up sitting with someone and talking with them for 15 minutes about my experiences working with a small publisher, and some of the things I’ve learned over the last decade in the querying trenches. I wasn’t trying to pretend to be something I’m not. Regardless, it felt really good to give something back, and my conversation partner told me that I really helped her find some direction with the book she’s trying to publish.

I’m somewhere on the path. I have a long ways to go, but I’m not at the beginning anymore. I’ve made some progress, and I can share that progress with others. I’m happy to do so! With humility, though I have to admit I am quite proud of what I’ve accomplished so far.

This time on the cruise, I’ve been motivated to look at where I am on the path. I’m surrounded by other writers. Many, if not most, want what I have, which is a published novel. I’m not asking questions about how to write the story as much as what to do with it once it’s done.

Speaking of my book, I’ve made a conscious effort to talk about my book on this trip, but not shill it. This is a wonderful, welcoming community, and they’re happy to celebrate my success with me. With that in mind, I feel like it would be wrong to push my book here. There is a subtle difference, and this isn’t the time or place for certain types of self-promotion, and I feel like I’ve done a decent job of it.

It is Saturday. The end of the cruise and the retreat is in sight, and I’m sad to see it go. Time becomes elastic in this kind of environment, and sometimes the only way a person knows what day it is is by reading it off the tile in the elevators, changed nightly. This time, I can feel the end approaching, and I wish I had more time to write and relax. I’ve done a bad job at both this trip.

If you ever get a chance to go on one of these retreats, I highly recommend it! Wherever you are on your writer’s journey, you will find something here that helps you see the way more clearly.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about being in a bit of a funk, and attributed it to the kind of work I’m doing with my Day Job. It’s all true, but there is more to it. I’ve been putting off talking about it, but since I’m just a couple of days from Writing Excuses Retreat 2023, I might as well get into it now.

Part of being a writer is selecting and striving towards bigger and bigger goals. Mine went something like:

• I want to write a real story
• I want to write a story I can enjoy
• I want to write a story my friends can enjoy
• I want to finish my first novel
• I want to finish another novel
• I want to finish another novel, this time in a different style
• I want to publish one of my stories
• I want to publish one of my novels

At first, I described these as dreams, but the difference between a dream and a goal is how much effort you put into achieving it. I still have untouched dreams, such as:

• I want to write fulltime and survive
• I want to win a prestigious award for my writing
• I want to make the New York Time’s best seller list

There’s nothing wrong with wanting these things. I have no expectations on these dreams. I believe I’m talented, and I can work towards some of these dreams, but most of these are outside my control.

This ties back into that funk I was talking about before. As long as I’m alive, I’ll be writing. But I need a new goal. I need something to aim for, that is more than just write and pray. I don’t know what that is.

Publishing The Repossessed Ghost achieved one of my dreams, and it still brings me joy to look at this physical copy of a book that has my name on it. Nothing is going to take that away from me.

More people than I expected have read it and they seemed to genuinely like it. I’m surprised at how many people have talked about starting it, and then finishing it within a day or two.

I kept my expectations relatively low, and The Repossessed Ghost has done better than my expectations. It’s not going to win any awards. It’s not going to climb up any lists. It delighted a few friends and friends of friends, and it sets the stage for more books and stories.

I’m working on a short story in which Mel is selected to be on a jury. It’s fun, and it’s possible I’ll finish it this next week. I’m planning a direct sequel to The Repossessed Ghost. I still have more outlining to do for it. Perhaps that will be my NaNoWroMo project this year. I’m not sure.

After that, I don’t know. I’m greedy. I want more. I want The Writer’s Life, whatever that means.

This week, I hope to find some kind of answer to the question, “Okay, what do I do now?” It’s probably something along the lines of “keep writing” and “find an agent.” I’m going to get a chance to talk to Dongwon Song, and I expect he’s going to tell me to define what kind of writing career I want to have.

That’s all I have for this topic at the moment. I may post a follow-up later this week, based on the conversations I have while on the ship. Also, I’m planning on writing something about agency and fridging, as coined by Gail Simone. I have some thoughts, but I have to do some more reading first.