Friday, Melissa and I will be jumping in my mustang and cruising over to the San Francisco area (Burlingame specifically) to attend Convolution 2014. I have all sorts of conflicting emotions surrounding the convention this year. Mostly anticipation and excitement, punctuated by inarticulate and irrational fear.
This morning, I went through the programming, and I have a rough idea how my time will be spent.
Friday
1:00 PM — Opening Ceremonies
2:00 PM — You Got Your Science in my Fantasy
4:00 PM — One of the following:
- 20 Books to Launch into Space
- Alternative Energy Sources
- Questions and Answers and Things that Go Bump in the Night
Nothing in the evening really pulls me. If the Texas Hold’em event is actually Texas Hold’em, I might be interested in that. There is a panel at 8:00 PM that Melissa might want to attend. There is a reading that I could go and listen to. Or, maybe I’ll find somewhere quiet and work on my own fiction.
Saturday
9:00 AM — Writer’s Workshop #1
1:00 PM — Writer’s Workshop #2
4:00 PM — One of the following:
- Handling Rejection in Writing (the irony of attending this after the two workshops is not lost on me)
- Todd M. Talks to M. Todd
6:00 PM — Don’t Crush Me (Hand Me the Duct Tape) (again, this is after the two workshops. Too funny!)
8:00 PM — Masquerade and Halftime Show
Sunday
10:00 AM — Worldbuilding for Gamers and Writers
12:00 PM — Military Fantasy, Different Themes then Military SF?
4:00 PM — Closing Ceremonies
I’m nervous about the masquerade. I had borrowed a jacket and a hat from Michael last year, and I didn’t look like I was in costume as much as I was wearing a funny hat and jacket. Melissa will be with me this year, and neither of us have any sort of costumes. Maybe we can pick up something in the dealer’s room. Or maybe I shouldn’t be so self-conscious, and just try to have fun, regardless of how I’m dressed. When I figure out how to do that last one, I’ll let you all know.
The last two weeks have been fairly difficult for me, in terms of work and time management. I’ve been stressed out long enough that I’m having a difficult time harnessing the right kind of excitement for this weekend activity. Instead, I feel like I’m gearing up tend to some unpleasant but necessary obligation. That’s not how it should feel, and it’s purely my own, internal bullshit that’s responsible.
I’m sure that when I wake up Friday morning, I’ll take a shower and wash away all of the dread and negativity. Melissa and I will get dressed, load up the car, and somewhere near Davis, I’ll remember how to feel enthusiastic again. And then we’ll have an awesome weekend! Right now, with my workload and job stresses sitting so heavily on my shoulders, it’s hard to lift my head to see the joy. But I’ll get there.