Here is the Amazon link!

It looks like the new cover is showing up for The Repossessed Ghost as well, though I’m only seeing it on the Trade Paperback and Kindle editions, while hard cover is the original. I’ll check with Steven on this. I suspect that the change just hasn’t gone through yet. From some stuff Steven told me, Amazon can be a little slow with changes like this.

Also note… if you’re clicking through and looking at the series in Amazon, it sort of looks like The Psychic on the Jury is the first book. This is not true. Because it is shorter (and cheaper), I think some people unfamiliar with my work might read it first. It doesn’t contain significant spoilers for The Repossessed Ghost, although it does depict Mel in control of his powers. A big part of The Repossessed Ghost is Mel learning to open his Mind’s Eye and use his abilities intentionally, but I don’t see this is a major spoiler.

I think the only real problem with reading them out of order is that The Repossessed Ghost takes place over a decade ago, and an unobservant reader might wind up confused since The Psychic on the Jury takes place a few years later, but before the pandemic.

Oh! This just in…

Steven is sorting the books tonight. He paused to post this image. It might be hard to see, but right in the middle on the right is a stack of The Psychic on the Jury.

There had been a chance that the book wouldn’t be there for Baycon. Books in shipping get delayed all the time. But there it is! This is the first time I’m getting to see that book in real life.

So exciting!

Again, the pre-order link is above. If you happen to be in Santa Clara this weekend, you can stop by Baycon and visit me in the dealer’s room. From what I can tell, the dealer’s room is open to the public. And just like The Repossessed Ghost was pre-released at Baycon last year, The Psychic on the Jury will be available at Baycon this year.

I really need to work on the sequel novel for next year.

One week from today, as long nothing goes wrong with shipping, I should have a book in my hands with this cover:

I think it’s great! I only had a few notes for the cover artist (Niki Lenhart), which went through Steven Radecki. He didn’t have that much to pass on, actually. Niki nailed it very quickly.

I love the “A Mel Walker Story” banner on the top, and all the implications that go with it. Obviously, The Repossessed Ghost was the first, and if all goes as I hope and as I plan, there will be more.

If you’re curious about the San Francisco ballcap on the table in the foreground, you’ll just have to read the story. There’s a reason that The Repossessed Ghost features a ’74 Chevy Nova. Similarly, the cover for this story needed to feature the ballcap.

It’s a short read. A bit longer than One for the Road, and 1/5th the length of The Repossessed Ghost. As I’ve said in a previous post, this story serves two purposes. The first is to offer a cheaper introduction for readers new to my work and the world of Mel Walker. The second is to act as a transition between The Repossessed Ghost and the next novel.

Speaking of which, I’m at a new Shut Up and Write. As soon as I hit Publish on post, I’m going to get out my notes and try to make some progress on the new novel. I still have some gaps to fill in the outline. Soon, perhaps after Baycon, I dive into drafting.

Wish me luck! And let me know what you think of the cover!

Check it out!

For those of you that purchased the book already, thank you so much! And congratulations! You now have a limited edition.

I still really like the old cover.

The new cover should look better in person, though. It’s higher contrast. The Moon is amazing on it. Plus, the new cover now says across the top “A Mel Walker Novel,” which it needs to do because as of the middle of next month, it’ll be the first in a series.

Steven Radecki suggested it during Sacramento Comic-Con, and to be honest, I was reluctant. I like featuring the car on the cover. It represents Kate, the actual repossessed ghost. It’s a picture right out of the scene which is the inciting incident.

Very soon, I’ll post the cover for The Psychic on the Jury, which again, will be available at Baycon as a pre-release, with its official release being July 12th. If one were to search The Amazon, they would find the kindle pre-order link here.

What do you think of the new cover? Which do you like better? New or old? Let me know!

They’re letting me on panels again! Here is the schedule:

July 4th, 14:45 – 16:00 — The Business of Writing

The business of writing is daunting, with many paths leading to that first published work. Professional writers discuss their experiences beyond the craft of writing. The panelists will entertain questions from the audience on navigating the path towards success.

July 4th, 20:30 – 21:45 — How Do I Get Published?

These authors have done it all, from successful query letters, book proposals, and finding an agent to formatting advanced review copies, books, and ebooks. We’ve written everything: book proposals, query letters, short stories, articles, essays, novels, nonfiction books. We advertise and sell too! Bring your questions and discover how to do it all yourself.

July 5th, 12:00 – 13:15 — Love that Book? Do Tell!

The simplest, easiest thing that a reader can do for writers, especially less-represented authors, indie authors, and niche storytellers) is to post reviews. We’re not talking about a deep literary analysis on your blog … just a short-and-sweet “what I liked (or didn’t) about this” note on your favorite digital bookselling sites. Let’s get together for a brief chat about what does and does not belong in a review, how to anonymize your reviews if you want to, and a little Q&A. Sure, we can talk about the difference between a negative review and a bad one. But then let’s unlock our phones and actually create a few reviews in a fun, social writer-boosting game, then return to the rest of the con having crossed a few items off our to-be-reviewed lists. Yes, of course there will be prizes.

July 5th, 8:30 – 21:45 — Can We Survive AI Assisted Disinformation?

We are already dealing with a cyberpunk level of disinformation swamping our channels. We now have AI available to to make the flood both larger and more convincing. How to we respond?

That’s the schedule, including the descriptions from the program. Also on July 5th, from 2:45PM to 5:30PM, I’ll be participating as one of the pros in a Writer’s Workshop. It’s very similar to the workshops I attended back when Convolution was still happening.

It’s all very exciting!

On top of that, I’ll be bringing my microphone and recording some Live From Baycon 2024 content for the Small Publishing in a Big Universe podcast. Here’s a link to the first Live From Baycon 2023 episodes.

When I’m not in the events listed above, you’ll be able to find me in the dealer’s room. The Psychic on the Jury will be available there as a pre-release. After that, it can be ordered online. When I have a link, I will provide it there.

Have a great weekend!

Have I mentioned that I have another book coming out next month?

The Repossessed Ghost served as the first introduction to Mel Walker, a young scoundrel with a heart of gold and a psychic gift. Next month, in the middle of July, The Psychic on the Jury will be out, continuing the story a few years after the events of The Repossessed Ghost.

It’s a novelette, around 13,000 words in length.

“But Brian, how many pages is that?”

Assuming around 225 words per page, that’s about 58 pages. It’s a short story. By way of comparison, The Repossessed Ghost is just under 80,000 words.

Why a short story? Why not a novel?

There are two main reasons. First, a story should be as long as it needs to be, based on the number of characters, settings, and plot elements. I had the idea quite some time ago, wondering what it would be like for someone like Mel to serve as a juror. It’s a perfectly fine idea for a story, but it doesn’t inspire a particularly long tale unless I pad it a bit. The Psychic on the Jury is relatively streamlined, and I think just the right size for what I wanted to say.

The second reason for putting out a shorter story is to give people a cheaper alternative to starting the Mel Walker series. I don’t think $15 is that much for a trade paperback, but that’s still more than some people are willing to invest in checking out a little known writer like myself. I don’t know what the price will be for The Psychic on the Jury, but I assume it’ll be around $5 like so many of the other Dragon Gems.

One can read The Psychic on the Jury first, as it contains no significant spoilers for The Repossessed Ghost. However, they’re probably more fun reading them in chronological order.

If you’re attending Baycon, you’ll be able to buy the book early, just like last year with The Repossessed Ghost. If you’re not attending Baycon, you’ll still be able to pre-order it around then.

This is exciting! A sequel!

And, I’ve made a little more progress on the outline for the next sequel novel.

As I get more concrete information, I’ll share it here. Soon, I’ll post covers, anecdotes about writing The Psychic on the Jury, and other stuff.

I know how it’s spelled. I just like the pun.

It seems, in this moment, like the guy that never has to account for his actions might just face some consequences. Finally.

34 counts. All guilty. The first time he’s ever actually won a popular vote.

Sentencing set for July 11th. Will he face jail time? No. Will he feel the financial sting of the fine? Also no. He got caught for fraud while trying to hide unflattering information, and as much as it made me smile to see the justice system turn out the correct answer, it is not the justice system that will punish him.

If he is to face actual consequences from this, it will be in the form of political capitol. He’s a convicted felon. He’s an embarrassment to the so-called law and order party. He’s been an embarrassment to the family values party.

My smile faded when I thought it all the way through. His followers don’t care that he’s a cheat and a crook. His opponents still see him for what he is. Nothing is actually changed by this.

He’s still allowed to run for president, and he still has a decent shot of winning. He has other felony charges against him in other trials, but his sycophants have seen to it that those trials won’t happen before the election.

For those of us that have been paying attention, watching, waiting for justice to prevail, it’s fine to enjoy the moment and celebrate. After the party, we have to remember that the real fight is in November.

He was found guilty of the thing everyone knew he did. Great. Now what?

That’s the last political post from me for a while. Before this weekend arrives, I’m going to share some good news and talk about Bay Area Book Festival.

Happy Mother’s Day, to those that observe. Statistically, crimes are at their all time low on Mother’s Day, so for all those mothers out their taking a day off from breaking the law, thank you!

Melissa is out having fun with Chris. I think Bryanna is working today, so maybe Melissa and Bryanna will have some fun later. I’m not sure.

I’m currently sitting in a Starbucks. Michael Gallowglas may be joining me at some point today. I have a Mel Walker story to work on, and some updates I want to post here. So let’s get into it.

The things I will talk about today:

• The Next Mel Walker Novel
• The Cover for The Repossessed Ghost
• My Mom, Work, and my Emotional Life
• A Brief Moment in Politics
• Everything Else

The Next Mel Walker Novel

To my humble surprise, a few people have asked about when the next Mel Walker story is coming out. Here is some news on that front.

I wrote a novelette and ran it through my critique group called The Psychic on the Jury. In that short story, Mel Walker, a psychic with the ability to talk to ghosts and look into the past, is summoned to serve on a jury. What could go wrong?

The Psychic on the Jury did reasonably well with my critique group. It needed a little bit of work, so I made some minor tweaks and polished it up. A few weeks ago, I sent it to Water Dragon in the hopes that it may serve as a short, stand-alone story as part of The Mel Walker series. I haven’t heard back on it yet, but I’m optimistic. It’s a good story, and it’s one that someone can read without having read The Repossessed Ghost, so if someone is curious about my writing and leery about spending full price on a novel, they can try this shorter piece.

The short story also serves as a transition between The Repossessed Ghost and the next full length novel, The Psychic out of Time. That’s the working title, for now. As I get deeper into the story, a better title may occur to me.

It’s The Psychic out of Time that I worked on some last weekend, and it’s the story I’ll be working on today. At this point, I’m still in the planning stage. I’ve got an outline, but it’s missing a lot of pieces. I’m excited about the beginning, the mid-point, and the end.

This story is going to have a lot more going on than The Repossessed Ghost. That’s not necessarily better, but it’s what I’m doing. I’m hoping I can write something that rewards the reader when they pay close attention to the details. At the same time, I want it to be as easy and as approachable as the first book.

I’ll talk more about this novel as I get into it.

The Cover for The Repossessed Ghost

At Sacramento Comic-Con, Steven Radecki and I talked about changing the cover for The Repossessed Ghost to help it stand out. Something with more “oomph.” I like the original cover very much, but if we can come up with something even better, I’m all for it.

Steven sent me a candidate this week, and it’s pretty neat! I’m not going to share it here yet, but I’ll describe it. It features the Nova, but instead of turned at an angle, it’s facing the reader. The headlights are on, and The Moon is big and directly behind it, with clouds and whisps of ground fog all around. The overall effect is that the car is a little bit darker, more detailed, while the top of the image is brighter.

It’s a very similar cover, but the contrast is higher. Also, and I don’t think this is intentional, but the picture is much more in-line with Mel’s perspective during an early scene, where Mel felt the touch of a ghost on his shoulder for the first time, freaked out, and fled the car. He looks back at the car and faces the headlights. That’s what this new cover looks like.

Melissa likes the new cover, and sees it as a marginal improvement. I shared it with my gaming buddies and they thought it was okay. I shared it with my critique group and Jennifer Moore said, “It’s definitely spookier. I like the new one, but it’s a close race.”

I sent it to Michael Gallowglas last night and he just said, “Not a fan.” He clarified later that it’s just the fonts that are wrong, and Steven and I both agree. If we get a better font, then Michael thinks it’s okay, too.

Overall, semi-mixed results, leading towards a small improvement over the original. I think I like it a little bit more than the first, but the first is special, to me.. The original, as of this writing, is still at the top of my blog. I never did get my image updated to include One for the Road. I should probably do something about that.

My Mom, Work, and My Emotional Life

It’s Mother’s Day, so I should talk about my Mom. I’ve been thinking about her quite a bit this month, so let’s talk about Evajean Buhl.

My Mom was infuriating. She was often right and she wasn’t graceful about it. When I was very young, I used to listen to her tell stories about our life, and I would hear all of the ways in which she exaggerated the details, and my young, analytical brain told me, “Oh. My Mom lies, all the time.”

Here is an unsettling truth. If you listen to the pattern and cadence of Trump when he’s giving an anecdote, it is the same way my Mom would tell a story. Stew on that for a moment.

My Dad was much more measured. He was also drunk most of the time until I was about 12, but even after he went to AA, he was still a more calming influence than my Mom. He was also right all the time, but he could be satisfied with knowing he was right, without having to shove it down the other person’s throat.

All my life, I have tried to be more like my Dad. And, all of my life, when I look at the way I behave, I see my Mom reflected back at me.

I had a hard time living with my Mom. I have a very hard time living with myself.

I don’t lie or exaggerate the way my Mom did. On that front, I think I’m an improvement on the original model. Maybe I use that energy to write stories. I don’t know. I think my writing is the one thing in my life that is uniquely me.

What about my programming? What about my day job?

That is another place where I think my Mom and I are similar. My Mom wasn’t a programmer, but she was the person her team would go to in order to solve problems. She was profoundly competent. Her coworkers appreciated her, just as mine appreciate me.

She could also be emotional and difficult to handle. She didn’t stop being logical when she got emotional. Sometimes, she took the emotion, good or bad, and just channeled it into her work. Just like me.

Growing up, my Mom changed jobs several times and we moved quite a bit. She worked at Kaiser in San Jose until I was 7. Then she worked at the hospital in Susanville until I was 9. We went to Oregon and she worked at Rogue Valley Medical Center until I was 15. That’s when my Dad died, and her emotional life got in the way. It was impossible for her to continue working just down the hall from where her husband passed away. They fired her, and she became a consultant.

I went with her the next summer and we lived in Washington D.C. Before the beginning of the next school year, I returned to Medford and lived in our old house alone. During my Junior year, she took a job in Albuquerque and made me move there. I thought she was being selfish and I hated it. We had no money, I had no friends, and I wound up working at a bowling alley and helped support us while still trying to attend High School. It did not go well.

My Mom died in January 2002. Sixty-eight years old. The 5 or 6 years before she died were spent in and out of hospitals. She didn’t really have much of a retirement.

I’m now 51. I’m 4 years younger than my Mom when she was forced to leave Rogue Valley Medical Center and seek jobs on the road. She had blood pressure issues all my life. My blood pressure last week was 140/95.

I’m so much like my Mom, and I don’t want to be. I want to break the cycle and just be Brian C. E. Buhl, the writer. But I don’t see a way to get there from here.

A Brief Moment in Politics

I just mentioned Trump, and he’s all over the news, so let’s get into it. I actually don’t want to talk about this anymore than you want me to write about it so I’ll try to be brief.

If you look at the polls, Trump is broadly ahead of Biden. FiveThirtyEight says that while Trump is ahead in some polls, Biden will likely still be win.

It makes me ask, “Why is it this close?” I can ask the question, but I have the answer.

Trump’s fans are loyal to him, even if he’s a felon. Even if he does not stand for what they said they used to stand for. They don’t see him as a monster. They see him as one of them, which is weird, all things considered, but they’re not considering all things. To them, Trump is great. Biden sucks, no matter what he says or does.

What about Biden? He’s faced with a complicated situation. He has to somehow stand up to long-time ally Israel without feeding the antisemites. What a shit show.

Principled, well-meaning, intelligent people know that what Israel is doing with Gaza is wrong. Protesting the slaughter of innocents is the correct thing to do. Biden’s slow-rolling, cautious approach with Israel is galling, and worthy of criticism.

I’ll vote for Biden, but not with enthusiasm. I’ve listened to some of his speeches. Sometimes he’s good, sometimes his age is catching up to him. Biden’s supporters point at the former, while his critiques focus on the latter. I think it’s stupid to ignore his age, just like I think it’s stupid to ignore Trump’s crimes.

At the end of the day, Trump is a wanna-be fascist and Biden is an old guy doing his best. These are the oldest candidates for President ever, beating out the last oldest set of candidates we’ve ever had, which were the same men four years ago.

This timeline sucks and I hate it.

Everything Else

Scammers are upping their game. Someone claiming to be from an independent bookstore called Melissa and said they wanted 10 copies of One for the Road. They didn’t ask for anything from us, per se, but the next day, someone else called saying they wanted to interview us. That’s when the “airtime fee” was mentioned, to which we said, “Thanks, bye!” The first call was to verify our information and soften us up. The second call was to plant the hook, but we weren’t biting.

How do I know it was a scam? The exact same calls went to another writer with Water Dragon Publishing. Same fake bookstore. Same fake interview offer. So, writer friends, don’t let your hopes and dreams blind you to the fakers.

What else? Maybe you’re wondering about the story I was going to write publicly?

I’m still planning on doing it. This is part of the process, to be honest. I come up with an idea, I write some notes, and then I let it cook in the back of my brain for a while until I’m ready. I’ve been thinking about the sequel novel to The Repossessed Ghost for most of a decade. I’m not going to wait that long to write the elemental firefighter story, but it’s not at the front of the line right now. I still have to write a follow-up to One for the Road, too. In my head, the title for that one is All Roads Lead to Home. The third story, therefore, will have to be The Road Twice Traveled. I have some plans for Tina.

That’s probably enough. I didn’t mean to write this much in a single blog post, but apparently I had a lot on my mind.

Again, Happy Mother’s day, to those that celebrate! If you don’t, well, have a great Sunday regardless.

For posterity, since a few weeks or months from now no one is going to remember anything about this discourse, here is a link that tries to explain the origin. I would have linked to the origin of this avalanche, but I think that was on TikTok and I’m not linking there, for a variety of reasons. That’s probably worthy of a post on its own.

If you don’t want to click that link and you still want the TL;DR: Someone asked the question, “if you’re lost in the woods, would you rather run into a strange man or a bear?” A lot of women choose the bear, and some number of men are upset about that.

Why am I talking about this? Isn’t there already enough discourse on the subject?

To the first question, I think it’s interesting. To the second, I might have something unique to say about it, which centers around empathy.

Regardless, I have been enjoying the memes.

My contribution? Run into the wrong bear in the woods and you might wind up a firefighter.

The jokes make me smile, and I think it’s an interesting question. Some people are taking it very seriously, though.

This is where I want to pivot from all the things everyone else is talking about, and talk about empathy. I think this is one of those rare cases demonstrating that men have and use empathy without thinking about it. In this case, empathizing with the wrong side.

Empathy is simply the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s looking at the world and feeling it through someone else’s perspective. It’s watching someone else’s heartbreak and feeling a lump in your throat. It’s when someone slips off their skateboard, racks themselves on a guardrail, and the onlookers twist in sympathetic groin pain.

Sociopaths are partially defined by their lack of empathy.

When I think of the original question put in front of a woman, I understand the choice of a bear. A bear will kill you, but a strange man will hurt you. Most men are good guys. Most of the time, it would be better for a strange man to show up than a strange bear. On the other hand, historically, men have done more harm than bears, and it’s easy to imagine the worst case scenario: A mad bear will kill you, while a dangerous man will do something worse.

I’m not hearing the question as, “Would you rather be found by a strange bear or Brian Buhl?” If that was the question and people that know me were still picking the bear, I would feel hurt.

That’s where my point about empathy comes in. I think some men are putting themselves in the scenario, seeing themselves as the strange man. Why would someone choose getting mauled by a bear? “Am I not a nice guy? I’m way less scary than a bear!” they think. They may even be correct, but the question isn’t about them. It’s about strange bears versus strange men, and men have a terrible track record.

These upset men are capable of empathy, but are exercising it only one way. They’re putting themselves in the place of the stranger in the woods, rather than imagining the perspective of a woman having to choose between quick death or potential torment.

The funny thing is that as I think about it, the empathy-gender line is firm the other way, too. At least, that’s what I see from some of the comments from women taking this whole thought experiment too seriously.

Almost 10 years ago, I wrote about how Walkadoo was trying to kill me. I don’t know if Walkadoo is still a thing or not. The post I just linked received more clicks from searches than any of my other posts, probably because people were searching for “Walkadoo” and only a handful of us weirdos were writing about it.

In that post, I talk about how the goal kept increasing, and I kept rising to meet the challenge. As I predicted back then, the step goal reached a point I could no longer match. When the service routinely asked me to walk 25,000 steps a day, I was defeated. I wound up uninstalling the app and unsubscribing from the service altogether.

The app asked too much from me, and I quit.

If the app had backed off at a certain point, or asked me for a cap on the number of steps it should demand, I might still be using the service. I like walking. I like completing goals. It was a good thing until it became terrible.

The app wasn’t made that way, though. My freakish brain chemistry could not see a middle space between total success or total failure. When I met the goal, I felt accomplished and proud of myself. When I fell short, it devastated me. I took it as a personal failure on my part. If I just worked a little harder, sacrificed a little bit more, I should have been able to walk nearly 12 miles every day.

You can probably see where this is going.

At work, we’re doing 2 week sprints. I routinely take on and commit to more than anyone else is doing every single sprint. Not only am I doing what I committed to, I’m also helping other people get their work done. Sometimes I spend so much time helping other people, I run out of time to do my own tasks, so I wind up working late and on the weekends to meet my commitments.

The difference between success and failure for me is the difference between joy and despair. I’m not sure that my boss fully realizes this, or how much I’m doing. His measuring stick is Azure DevOps, which I find to be a clumsy and cumbersome tool. It’s not easy for me to justify taking 2 minutes to record impromptu, 15 minute phone call, even when those 15 minute phone calls turn into 30 or 45 minute troubleshooting sessions, multiple times a day.

Ten years ago, Walkadoo started asking me to do more than I could do, and it reached a breaking point and I quit. Now, my Day Job is asking me to do more than I can do, and two things are happening simultaneously. One, my boss doesn’t think what I’m being asked to do is unreasonable and two, my boss doesn’t have a clue how much extra I’m doing.

There are things I can do to fix this.

1. Quit and find a different job. There are a couple of problems with this. I’m fiercely loyal to my company, and I’m not sure I’ll be as satisfied going anywhere else. I should look into it, but that kind of change is extremely difficult.
2. Make my boss aware of what is going on. There are a few problems with this, too. I’ve already had multiple conversations with him about how clumsy ADO time recording is. I think this route is going to be unproductive, but it’s something I should ultimately try.
3. Do less. Accept what my heart tells me is “failure.” This is, I think, what normal, rational people do in situations where too much is being asked of them. This is my kryptonite.

I have to do something. In the mean time, I’m at a Starbucks with my work laptop in front of me. I’m going to try and make up the 12 or 16 hours I’ve lost during this week, helping other people. I’ve identified the problems. I’m apparently not ready to do anything about them.

I just entered my timecard for last week. 60 hours, on the nose, mostly because of a 16 hour day on Tuesday last week.

I worked a few hours yesterday, and a few hours today. Not a big deal. In fact, aside from the stress headaches and body pain, I don’t mind working long hours as long as I feel it’s worth it.

Was it worth it?

We’re doing 2 week sprints. Norwescon took me out of it for a couple of days, and I stated at the beginning that the sprint was a bit overstuffed, but I thought it could be done. We had some crisis during the sprint, while I was at Norwescon, and I logged in and gave a hand during my vacation. Then I got home and crammed around 30 hours of work into 2 days. I did everything that was assigned to me, helped my team members with their work, and went above and beyond. There was one task I did not complete, because if I completed it, our production environment would have suffered gravely.

Because I didn’t do that one task, my sprint is considered a failure.

Yeah.

I’m loyal to my company and my team, but this is toxic. I’ve been getting through the last few days with Tylenol and Motrin, because I’m not sleeping well and the stress is manifest in my next and upper back. Again.

It’s extremely difficult to write when I’m feeling like this. It’s difficult to do anything. There’s no joy. Just going through the motions, hoping the fun comes back.

I shouldn’t be posting stuff like this. I should be optimistic, and thankful, and positive. On the other hand, I said I’d post on the weekends, and the weekend is almost over and the only thing I’ve managed to accomplish is attend Michael’s matinee yesterday and do the laundry today.

Maybe this next week will be better, and I’ll have enough spell slots at the end of the day to do some actual writing.