I think it was Pol that first introduced me to the idea of a higher self and a lower self. I’ve read about the concept in some self help books, and I might have it totally wrong now. The basic idea is that the higher self is all about doing what’s right, and being responsible, and getting stuff done. The lower self wants to play games, eat pizza instead of cooking, and basically just goof off. Maybe it’s id and ego. Maybe it’s the rider and the elephant. I think the idea is the same across several different concepts. It just depends on what you’re reading.

Something I used to have a tendency of doing was clamping down on my lower self. I’m good at following rules, and when I give myself limitations as rules, I can usually follow them to my despair. That’s how I’m able to drink only water. It’s how I was able to give up caffeine. For a while, when I was working somewhere else, it was how I managed to wear a tie every day to work. When I give myself a set of rules, especially prohibitive rules, I’m able to follow them.

To an extent, that’s how I’m able to proceed with this October exercise of creating a post every day for the entire month. The rule is, I don’t go to bed until I’ve made a post. I can follow rules.

The problem is that we need to be able to let our lower selves have their way, or we become miserable. We need to cut loose and play games, eat some junk food occasionally, or take a day off.

One of the things I really appreciate about where I work now is that they let me do whatever I need to do in order to get the job done. They’re looking at the results I’m producing, rather than what’s on my screen. That’s a good thing, because when it comes to programming, I’ve found that I can honor my whole person at the same time.

It’s easy, as a programmer, when the environment lets you do it. I can entertain my lower self with some music, while I focus on writing code. I can read some news article while I’m solving some logic issue in the back of my mind. To some outside observer, it probably looks like I’m screwing around half the time. I’m not.

At the end of the day, I’m exceeding the expectations put on me. That’s what’s important, and that’s one of the reasons I really appreciate working where I work.