I came into this convention a bit rattled, and with lower expectations than usual. I wasn’t on a lot of programming, and I heard they misspelled my name in a few key places. Plus, with everything else going on in the world, my heart felt heavy before we even arrived.

With just a little bit of the con left tomorrow, I feel like I can sum up some of what I’ve felt the last few days.

I’ve spent a lot of time with people living in the same world as me, with their own problems and struggles, some of which are much greater than my own. We are all feeling the weight of the world right now, but we’re still coming together to celebrate each other and our shared love of fantasy and SciFi. Art, culture, stories, and a shared love for the strange. That’s what Baycon is about, more than anything else. That’s something to be celebrated.

While at the convention, I had the opportunity to interview many people for the Small Publishing in a Big Universe podcast. I’ve done many of these Live From X events before, but there was something special about the interviews this year. With Charlotte, I felt like she had an opportunity to really open up about something that was important to her, and I’m not sure she’s had a chance to talk with anyone about her craft in the way we talked. With Kim, we got into a spirited debate, and while we were very much on opposite sides of a hot topic, we were able to be respectful in our disagreement.

People I’ve enjoyed for years have sought me out. People I don’t know, but that have read my work, also sought me out and asked when the next book will be out. Coming to Baycon has been a continuous reuniting with friends, and constant stream of moments to meet new people that are becoming my friends.

For me, Baycon has been sharing meals, stories, laughter, and space with people I see infrequently. Last night, we hosted a party on the 14th floor, celebrating 10 years of Paper Angel/Water Dragon Publishing. I expected only a handful of people to show up, but we filled the room. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

It hasn’t been purely escapism. Though I didn’t seek out conversations about current events and politics, I found myself in several. As much as we may have shielded ourselves from the outside world, we couldn’t get away from our feelings about what is going on, and how things could have been better if we’d collectively made the better choice last November. A couple people voiced conspiracy theories about the election, but I did not entertain them. I know in my heart that it wasn’t a matter of cheating or discarding votes — the same claims Trump still makes about the 2020 election — but a matter of evil winning. But good will triumph again, and spending a weekend with good people reminded me of that.

I listened to someone today talk about losing his wife. They’d been married almost 40 years. She was his best friend, truly his other half, and the pain was still fresh and present with him. He needed to talk and, more importantly, he needed someone to listen. So I did. All of us are going through something, and the least we can do for each other is just stop for a moment and listen. A little while after the man and I finished our conversation, I stood next to Melissa and held her hand for a while.

This weekend, I felt blessed. I’m truly fortunate in so many ways. This weekend reminded me of what we have to live for, and that to keep what we love the most, we have to truly live.