I set myself a goal to write 31 posts in the 31 days of July, and then slipped a day because Melissa and I wanted to see some movies. Then I slipped another day yesterday because I needed to take a break. Is this a writing failure? How do I reconcile myself to the absolute truth that I set a goal for myself, then failed to achieve it?

This is as good a place as any to talk about writing struggles, and what I’ve done to push through them. Sometimes the way through is with mechanical processes. Other times, it’s more of an emotional journey. I’ll talk about both.

Let me first state that this isn’t purely about dealing with writer’s block. I have two really decent posts that talk specifically about writer’s block. Also, Mary Robinette has an excellent post on the subject. What I’m talking about isn’t so much being blocked as much as being impaired. You, the writer, showed up with the idea, the energy, the time, but you’re still not pushing through for a variety of reasons.

Let’s start with a mechanical process, because it may seem very familiar, and it may look pretty much the same as dealing with certain forms of writer’s block. When I was part way through the first draft of Synthetic Dreams, I felt like I was about to lose the story. For reasons that didn’t pan out, I put Synthetic Dreams on hold for a while, and upon returning, found that I lost my train of thought and my notes were not complete. I had 60,000 words written — words I was proud of and new to be the start of something special — but I didn’t see how to put the rest together.

To solve this problem, I needed to see the story from a high level. I reread everything I wrote, including all of my notes. I created 3×5 cards for each of the scenes, both the ones written and the ones I knew I was going to write. Then I put all the cards on the kitchen table and looked at my story.

It didn’t take too long before I had my Eureka! moment. I saw what was missing, and I saw how I could make the story tighter and more satisfying with some minor adjustments. Armed with this knowledge, I was able to get back to work, and a few weeks later, I had a completed first draft.

Like I said, this is a mechanical process. There was some underlying panic and fear going on. Emotions were high. But I managed to reach into my writer’s toolbox and pull out what I needed to circumvent the panic and fear and find the right path going forward.

Not all writing struggles can be solved with mechanics, though.

When lockdown hit, and all my plans for 2020 were cancelled, including a publishing deal that I was really looking forward to, I despaired. I remember looking at my stories, both finished and unfinished, and thinking, “Oh no. I’m not a writer anymore.” And then I couldn’t write for a while.

I still had an obligation to finish a story, so I pushed through it. I wrote the novelette. It took about 3 times longer than it should have, but I finished it, and it was the most painful writing experience I’ve ever gone through. The story is fine, I think. There is a lot of truth in it, even though it’s about an Air Force squadron fighting fairies and dragons. By force of will, I got through that struggle, and I paid the price for the effort for the next 6 months to a year.

Here’s the thing about writing struggles: you don’t have control over everything, and it’s vital to identify those things that are outside your grasp. I could not control the pandemic. I have no sway over the publishing industry. Not every story I write will please every reader. There are only so many hours in a day.

Once you identify the things you cannot change or control, you then turn and look at the things you can affect. The pandemic may have closed some opportunities for me, but I still had the ability to work on other stories and be ready for the next potential break. I don’t have any influence over the publishing industry, but I can control how often I submit my stories, and I can choose who to submit to and when. I may not please every reader, but I can write stories that please myself.

This month, I set a goal to write 31 posts in 31 days, because I wanted to celebrate keeping this blog open for 10 years. I also wanted to talk about the release of The Repossessed Ghost in an organic way. And also, writing blog posts is easy, while at the moment, working on fiction is hard.

Sometimes the way through dealing with writing struggles is to forgive yourself and give yourself some room to heal and breathe. That’s what I did yesterday, basically. Saturday was a great day in San Francisco, and I walked more than I’ve walked in months, which meant that Sunday I needed to sleep in, watch some mindless videos, and play some video games with my friends.

I think I can still write 31 posts this month. I just need to double post on a couple days. If I do that, things will be fine. Even if I don’t do that, things will be fine. This is another mechanism for dealing with writing struggles: in the face of things outside your control, reevaluate your goals and adjust accordingly.