Emotions have been a little all over the place the last few days, and today hasn’t been much different. As I showered this morning, I did the math in my head and realized that today marks 35 years since my Dad’s death. I still miss him. I wish I could go back in time and talk to him one more time.

Once out of the shower, I realized I could probably put together a really good The Dude from The Big Lebowski. Here is what I came up with this morning:

Later, when I was getting into meetings, I changed my background, which really tied the whole thing together.

Being The Dude, I spent most of the day abiding. My work day was fine, and I’ve been avoiding stress.

It’s evening, now. The sun has been asleep for a couple of hours, and we’ve had a couple of kids come by. One was a little girl with her Mom. This was her very first time Trick or Treating. She got two full size candy bars from us, plus a Capri Sun. Then a teenager girl dressed as Dorothy knocked on our door. I asked her if she recognized my costume, and she said, “I remember you being the guy that gives out sodas.” I gave her 3 full sized candy bars and an Izzy.

I’m not sure we’re going to see that many kids tonight. I hope we do. We’re stocked and ready to go, and I love handing out the candy.

That first little girl tried to come in our house, which reminded me of the first time Bryanna went Trick or Treating. We were living on base at Holloman, and we went around the base housing neighborhood. She was tiny, barely speaking, but she could move. At that first house, she could smell the chili our neighbors were making, so she hurried inside, climbed up at their table, and waited for a bowl.

We’re having chili tonight. Time is a flat circle. Or perhaps it is a poem that occasionally rhymes.

Bryanna stopped by earlier. She was dressed as a pumpkin. One might say that she was our first Trick or Treater, but since the sun was still high in the sky, and she’s 27, I’m going to say that she didn’t count. I still gave her candy, though. She and her best friend are doing something tonight. I hope they’re having fun.

I have Melissa’s folding table setup in the middle of the living room. My Surface is setup, and the curtains are open in front of me, giving me a perfect view of the street out front. This would be a great setup to watch for Trick or Treaters, except that I’m wearing my glasses to get the best use of my laptop, which makes it hard for me to see anything more than a few feet away.

The brainstorming I did on The Psychic Out of Time was extremely useful. My story idea rocks, actually. This is one I can really be proud of, and one with an excellent emotional core. I’m excited to write it! I might even love it enough to see it through. But, I still don’t have an outline.

That’s why I’m setup like I am. I’m perched, ready to spring up and give kids candy, and either a soda or a Capri Sun depending on their size. While I’m waiting for the next knock at the door, I can sit here and work on the outline. If I finish it, I’m out of excuses.

How much do I really want to do NaNoWriMo this year, though? I know from personal experience that I don’t need it. I can draft just fine throughout the year. I’m not engaged with the local Nano community. The only deadline hanging over my head has to do with a cover for One More For the Road, which is sort of out of my hands.

This post is the 31st in a row. I have filled the month of October with a daily writing habit, exactly the kind of exercise that I find necessary to prepare for a solid NaNoWriMo. I have a solid story idea, with good notes, and I could have an outline soon enough that I could start writing tomorrow. The only thing left is to determine if that’s what I really want to do.

I just answered the door again. Quite a few kids have shown up, now, and I love it. The kids don’t know I’m The Dude, of course, but some of the parents figure it out when I toss them a clue. Next year, I’ll put some effort into my costume and come up with something that the kids will like and recognize.

NaNoWriMo. I still don’t know. Maybe I’ll just sit here, work on my outline for the next Mel Walker story, and decide tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll start working on the story, but without a commitment to writing 50k in 30 days. It sure would be funny if I completed NaNoWriMo this year without ever actually committing to do so.

Time to get to work.

After tonight, I’m going back to my erratic schedule. I hope you’ve enjoyed the posts this month. If you have any favorites, let me know! Whether or not I do Nano, I’ll try to do some check-ins through November.

Happy Halloween, everyone! Stay safe and have fun!