Good evening! It’s Saturday, and this is day 6 of my 366 day death march blog challenge. I just finished meeting with my critique group, and I’m all fired up! Let’s begin…

Personal News

I think Pancakes is starting to settle down a little bit. She was still yowling well into the wee hours of the morning, and she woke me earlier than I wanted to get up. For the last several hours, though, she’s been quiet. That’s good. I need a break from her feline shenanigans. I need to rest this weekend.

I’m writing this from my work laptop, because I’m still focused on Day Job activities. I need to find a break and get back to fiction writing, but that’s easier said than done. There’s still too much to do, and not enough of us to do the work.

Upcoming Events and Such

There’s nothing new to report for events. Arisia is less than a week away. I met with Steven earlier today and we went over last minute details I’ll need in order to be effective in Boston.

I also ordered my own Square Reader, so I’ll have that as a backup in Boston. I’ll also have it whenever I go to an event on my own and have the opportunity to sell my books.

The Topic: Keeping it Real

Ideally, I’d like to be saying something more about One for the Road, but it’s a short story and there’s only so much I can say about it before it’s out. It’s a good story that you’re going to love. You’ll love it less if I beat you over the head with it.

I’m going to take a break from the plan tonight and instead talk a little bit about what’s going on with me, and one of the reasons this blog project is important.

The depression isn’t really gone. It’s still there, in my mind, offering ideas and thoughts that are not good for me.

Tonight, while offering critique, I felt myself pulling away from my friends. I was fairly convinced that the critiques I was offering were not useful or good. It’s not good because I’m not good. I’m a terrible writer, and whatever I have to say about their stories should be dismissed out of hand, because I should be dismissed out of hand.

I recognize the lies, and I’m able to shake them off. Part of why I can do that is because I’m doing this. I’m writing something. I’d rather I was writing fiction than opening up on this public forum, but the act of writing is giving me strength to put myself in my place.

[Quick Note: The cat just started yowling, so the misery of being in heat continues, it seems.]

One of the stories I read today, from Spencer, was an allegory about the mindlessness pursuit involved in capitalism. The people in the world of that story were all about making paperclips, because there was money in paperclips. There were people that could not pursue their passion because their passion didn’t pay the bills, even though what they were doing was more useful than making paperclips. Everyone was on a treadmill, and no one could see a way off.

That story hit home. I’ve been feeling it. I need to pursue my passion in order to hold myself together, but at the moment, I’m not seeing a path in which I can sustain myself on my writing.

Anyway. I needed to let some of that out. Tomorrow, hopefully I’ll get more sleep, and I’ll return to writing about something a little bit more fun.