I stirred a minor hornets nest with last night’s post. I imagine this one is going to kick over an anthill. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, though, and it’s something I want to talk about.
I was Facebook friends with the remote girlfriend I mentioned in the last post, and not too long ago, she removed me from her friends list.
It was a completely appropriate thing for her to do. We weren’t really friends anymore. We hadn’t spoken in quite some time. I think Facebook reminded her of my existence and she deleted me.
I had a little bit of an emotional reaction when I realized it. I didn’t have any inappropriate feelings for her anymore. Melissa and I have been happy together. It still hurt, though.
If all that remains of us on Earth after we die are the pictures and memories we leave behind, someone on the other side of the US was making sure I was eradicated. Whatever impact I had on her was negative enough that she needed to cut me out, like some cancer.
It sucks, but it’s probably what was healthiest for her, so I can’t begrudge her for it. All I could do was reciprocate. I made sure all of my computers and devices were scrubbed clean of her presence.
Deleting this person wasn’t easy for me. It would be difficult for me to remove anyone; the difficulty wasn’t specific to this one individual. I cling to my memories like a hoarder packing their garage.
Now that it’s done, how do I feel? Should I remove other people from my life, like plucking a stitch out of the tapestry of my life?
I feel okay. I don’t want to go through any of that relationship again, and I don’t want to go through excising something like it from my life again.
I don’t think I need to make anymore huge adjustments in my life right now.