Tonight’s post is a personal update. It’s a little bit of a bummer, and it’s one of the ways I deal with my emotions so that I can get back to writing. If my more emotional check-ins aren’t you’re thing, you can skip this one. Maybe we’ll talk about Novel Writing Month soon.

Last week, someone I cared for very much wrote to tell me we could no longer be friends. He said I undermined him at every turn, that I made his other friends uncomfortable, but mostly, he was upset that I let something happen at an event that undermines his value in the community.

There’s a bit to unpack there, and I’m not trying to make his beef with me a public thing. Maybe there are other things going on his life which led to him blaming me for things I have no control over. There is no point in arguing the points, because the reality is that him cutting me out of his life is doing me a favor, emotionally and financially. It’s better not to crowd your life with one-sided friendships, but I was never going to tell him to shove off because I cared for him so damn much.

It’s that last part that I’m trying to work through. That, and all the other self doubt I carry with me all the time. There are a lot of voices in my head, many of which are telling me things that are simply untrue. But sometimes, events like this give support to those voices, and it makes it harder for me to get through these already troubling days.

For example, there is some part of me that is convinced that I am a difficult person to like. A long time ago, someone that was neither a friend nor a foe told me that when I’m around, I suck all of the oxygen out of the room. His words have stayed with me for 30 years.

I think about my mother, and all the ways I’m like her. She was a difficult person to like. Competitive to a fault, she loved to embellish stories and pull all of the attention to herself. She always had to be right. And when she was angry, she was cruel. She possessed a great deal of empathy, and if you pissed her off, she would weaponize that empathy in order to say things that would leave deep, lasting scars.

I try not to be like that, but I am her son. I am competitive to a fault. I love to tell stories. Sometimes, I enjoy being the center of attention, but I’ve learned that sharing the spotlight is much more fun. I try to manage my anger, and when I’m upset, I’m more likely to withdraw and go away, so that I don’t say something I will regret later.

It was early in the week when I got the email, and I had a lot of processing to do. It affected my sleep, which affected my work. I didn’t work at all on Thursday. Going to bed Friday, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to the No Kings rally.

Saturday morning came, though, and I found myself moving. I left the house, took the lightrail downtown, and met up with my friend Mike in front of the capitol.

Honestly, it was a good time. Lots of good signs. Lots of good energy, and it is encouraging to see so many people exercising their right to protest, because what Trump and his squad of sycophants are doing needs to be protested.

Since the protest, I’ve been feeling better. I still have some processing to do, but I’m free. There is a weight I’ve been carrying for a while, and I’m not sure I realized it until just now that I’m a little bit lighter without that person in my life.

Which leads me to the next weird email I received just last night, which I guess I’ll talk about.

It starts off like this:

First, let me say how much I admire your inventive approach to blending supernatural mystery with grounded, character-driven storytelling. I recently discovered The Repossessed Ghost and The Psychic on the Jury and was immediately struck by your ability to merge the eerie with the everyday. Your writing feels cinematic yet sincere, rich with atmosphere and subtle humor that gives the paranormal genre a refreshing twist.

There’s more like that, and on first read, it was fairly convincing. It includes details about my books which are mostly accurate. The main thrust of the email is that they are a book promoter, and they want to offer their services to help me reach more readers.

A few red flags stood out to me. First, they addressed the email to a bunch of “Brian Buhl” addresses. One was my work address. Several of the addresses were Brian Buhls I do not recognize. The last address was Bryanna Buhl, my daughter.

It’s honestly really easy to get a hold of me. I read all of the comments on this blog, and all of the non-spam messages sent via the “Contact Me” form. I’m pretty sure this blog is the first thing that comes up when someone searches for “Brian C. E. Buhl.”

The next red flag was their name. There’s nothing wrong with the name they gave: Shannon J. Sain. The problem is that when you search for them with relation to book marketing, there are no results. If they’re doing a great job of promoting other people’s work, it shouldn’t be hard to find them.

I eventually posted to Bluesky and asked if anyone had received something similar. Someone pointed out that Victoria Strauss has recently been writing about this scam. On one of her posts, I found an example which matched the pattern of the email I received. Turns out it’s from Nigeria.

It sucks to get your hopes up, and it sucks to be the target of a scam like that. At the same time, it feels pretty good to see through it. The only real pain from this event is knowing that someone fed my information and potentially my stories into the machine and used AI to generate the email. Up until now, I think my work had flown under the radar and had not been given to an LLM.

I think that covers it. I’m a little bit stalled an my writing, and on the WXR 2025 keyboard I need to finish. I’m hoping that I make progress on both this weekend. For now, I’m not going to beat myself up too much.

Wherever you are, I hope you’re doing well, and surrounded by friends that care about you.